A
male
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:A girl I was with for two years starts seeing someone else I find out by chance, I’m hurt but make no fuss, wish her well and try and maintain a level of friendship and being civil. I was hurt of course. We all work in the same building. I focused on myself over the twelve months since the split. Lots of people have said (including women) how well I am looking. One person hasn’t said it.I from gossip all have not gone to plan with the other guy (and he is known for being a player and liar etc).The girl has been completely off with me during the twelve-month very hot and cold, I get the impression she is trying to forget I exist sort of blank me out in order to deal with me.My question is this I caused no problem. I didn’t let her down, so what is she trying to deal with, why does she need to and do this with me ? it is so strange ??
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female
reader, 48years  +, writes (25 January 2009):
 Aww crap, it hurts... this woman you liked or loved is with someone else and has rejected you. There is nothing you can do to win her back, or is there?
Do you want her back? If you do, pull out all the stops - tantalize her, speak to her, and try to call her. Women are seduced through their ears. If she rejects you again, at least you'll know you've tried your very best and you can quiet the nagging voices in your head.
If your goal is to remain friends and to be polite to each other, honey, some people just can't do that.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 January 2009): It can only be admirable that you chose to part ways amicably, if she now shuts you out and avoids you as best as she can, this may be a way to deal with the suddenness of your break up or even possibly because she's sorry she has hurt you. We can't know. If differs from case to case anyway. It doesn't have to be your fault that your relationship didn't stand the test of free attraction. Some don't appreciate the good treatment at home or simply change their preference somewhere along the way and become more attracted to a different style. It happens all the time that relationships fail, it's part of life, bottom line is that you need to decide when you are ready to move on and use whatever this relationship may have taught you, in the very next one. All the best.
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