A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Ok, I'll try not to make this too long as I have no idea whether to pursue this or...get a life!!:)There is a girl at work I really like and I'm getting very confused at how she feels about me. We have been looking/staring at each other for the past 3 years but she stays with her boyfriend. About a year or so ago I asked her if she would be interested in doing something with me and she basically couldn't understand why I asked as she said had been with her boyfriend for 10 years! In all honesty, I had no idea she had been with him for so long and that threw me a bit! Anyway, said she was relatively happy but would be happier with a diamond ring.Due to shifts didn't really see much of her for a bit but when we did see each other things had changed and we didn't really talk the same as before. I actually felt quite bad about that. Anyway, it didn't take long for the looking/staring to start again i.e. looking at me then looking away when I look at her, if I'm behind her turning round to look at me, walking past each other and keeping eye contact etc. One day, in the works kitchen, she collected her jacket to leave and I was standing opposite facing her and she stared at me for about 10/15 secs but it seemed like forever and that was with other people in the room! As she opened the door to leave she let out a big sigh! No idea what that meant..is that frustration??Anyway, I don't always see her due to our shifts so getting to speak to her on her own can be quite a challenge but I thought I would ask again but change tactics. The other week I got her on her own and asked what does she want i.e. with the staring etc. Now, she's had a hard time in the last couple of years with other people at work (that's another forum!) and had a rant about that but did mention she saw me staring at her at one point. Other than that I have no idea if she answered my question or not as I think I was glad just to get out of the room!:) About 10 mins later she made a coffee in the kitchen and I caught her looking at me again and when she left the room (I was standing beside the door) I could hear her sigh again! I don't understand the sighing??A colleague was leaving and his do was the other night but I didn't go and not sure if I should have when she might have opened up. Am I clutching at straws here? Why do you think she continually looks/stares when she has been with her boyfriend for so long?Cheers for any thoughts or abuse!:)
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 June 2013): It sounds like you are reading into things way too much.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (2 June 2013): Ok, she didn't answer your question so the next time she's looking your way ask it again.
I concur with the other commenter's advice. She is taken so cool your interest in her. It's the right thing to do.
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A
female
reader, Tantivy +, writes (1 June 2013):
OP, I know it sounds horrible and I've been in the same situation before but - she's got a boyfriend. Even if she thinks he's the worst guy on the planet, she's still in a relationship with him. Until they are out of a relationship, it wouldn't really be fair or moral to try to start something with her, even if you're just flirting. Even if she totally fell for you, would you really want to be with someone who was disloyal to their partner? I'd have suggested letting her know you like her, but she already turned you down because she has a boyfriend. You can't really try to read any more into the situation. Without being harsh, I think you are clutching at straws. She knows you used to like her, which is probably why she is sighing out of annoyance and staring back at you because, as she said, she noticed you staring at her.I know you really like her, and I'm sure you can find someone just like her who's single and also fancies you: is there anyone you can think of right now who would be a good, suitable alternative? If not, put yourself out there and socialise. Find yourself a committed girlfriend who can be all yours and you won't look back :)Best of luck!
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