A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:How do I cope with the girl who ran off with my man?She posts sleazy photos of her and him up on Instagram and Facebook to get back at me and her ex. I try not to look anymore and most times I don't - but from time to time I see images which just bring back what she's done to me and is still doing.I am over my ex - I don't want him anymore - but why does she still manage to get under my skin?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 October 2015): Hi - OP here!
Thanks for the last male response!! It was the most detailed response I had & very true a lot of it! I am no good at creative writing - but yes I will steer clear of their FB activities as a lot of it is just for show...
Thanks :-)
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (21 October 2015): So Mr Yuk and Mrs Yuk still getting on your nerves?Use your creativity to get over them....write a play or a film script or do a musical rant but whatever you do make it pay you.I agree with wise owl that ten dollars or pounds is a fair fine you owe to yourself for snooping in on their sad assed life.You will sail right away from them one day and you will wonder why your trusting nature was so abused by them ,but when the story of your life unfolds these episodes of their pathetic attempts to pull the wool over your eyes will just make you laugh at them.Imagine it in film world.Young couple, strikingly beautiful but naive trusty girlfriend on a trip with a sleazeball.But he has very little true qualities,only that he wants to rule the roost and have things chipping his way.In comes fake friend with fake charming smile and fake mind.Cut to the chase: the heroine of the story is good hearted, beautiful and kind.Everything goes swimmingly for a while but mr.fake soons observes spark of jealousy in miss fake and he developes his underhand way of controlling the trapped female.Heavens start shifting,comets fly by at night but mr fake too busy loooking at his own reflection to notice.Former generations get angry.Their princess is being abused and mankind will fall and fail in its mission against corruption if said heroine /princess /aka dear ol you gets drawn into their devious plan.Yes ,its looking bad!Hes gonna well have likkle trouble later down the line of life and he needs to keep this one insured so that he can cash in on the deal later.But she doesnt know this. Shes just singing and doing all she can to keep up fake prince charmings good reputation.Seasons change and time moves forwards and princess gets a feeling its not all kosher.Sure as hell its not!And just when sneaky couple think the cat is in the bag she goes an throws a wobbler nd finds out the truth.Oops , there goes his little earner.Oops , there goes his reputation.Oops ,there goes miss fake friends reputation.Alarm bells ring.His little earner is moving on and worse still he looks like a big flop without her mustering her energies to make him look good.What does he do?Its called damage limitation!!!He pulls out the stops to make it look like he and fake friend were in fact the real deal.He works harder than a promo man to make it look loike he loved the princess most mightily and fake friend just turned out to be a better deal.Yeah..more like the only deal hes got left.People start seeing him for the person he is and fake friend gets a frission of distaste from others and princess gets a bit of admiration and a whole lot of speculation about what will happen next.Well princess has nerves of steel.She is not giving no quarter to nobody.She can double negative it all the way.But princess keeps peeking at their damage limitation exercise and it looks convincing.Deep in her heart princess knows its all a load of tosh and it irritates her.Stay away little princess the audience caution.Do not go back to a nest of vipers when you were breakfast, lunch , evening meal and future payout.Stay away.So listen to the owl he has guided you away from their devious scheming plans.Your true integrity is glowing ,lighting the path ahead of you.It is a dangerous trek and you need companionship, but you just got a destiny that doesnt allow you to be used up as emotional fodder for someones scheming plans.Now stick that up on your wall (the story i mean) and get yourself a decent dart board.Their face book is a trap!Avoid it and learn to play darts incase you get stuck in remote parts and for some reason your pinpoint accuracy is of vital importance in a lara croft kind of way.Come to think of it im starting to think a new computer game could be spawned.One where the characters are not what they seem to be.But princess you have the lantern of truth and honesty to guide you.You hear the wise words of the owl and you are moving forward silently, like one on the waters with the moon shimmering and the silent swish of the canoe paddle guiding you to safety just as the ancient indians travelled so the spirits of your ancestors travel with you,trying to guide you to safety.Stay strong little princess and forget their sadassed facebook plans.You can do so much better than them.Lay low.Dont let them get to you.
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1  +, writes (20 October 2015):
 I saw a quote today and immediately thought of your situation. Okay, ready, here goes:
"If you are willing to look at another person’s behavior toward you as a reflection of the state of their relationship with themselves rather than a statement about your value as a person, then you will, over a period of time cease to react at all.” - Yogi Bhajan
Maybe this will help you reframe the question? Best to you!
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A
male
reader, olderthandirt  +, writes (20 October 2015):
 Stay off the social media sites and don't worry about it.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 October 2015): Thanks for the answers & Femmenoir you are right I do not have to look & be reminded!
OP x
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A
female
reader, femmenoir  +, writes (20 October 2015):
 Hi,
by continually peeking at her pics, by continuing to look at her and at your ex, you will never get over the past and the upset that you are currently feeling.
I can assure you, your ex and this new woman of his, are getting on with their own lives, regardless of their individual and/or joint motives.
She is showing off, by airing pictures of them online, however, you do not have to continue looking at these tacky images. You must stop looking altogether and move on with your life, they way that they both have.
You are doing yourself no favours whatsoever, by continuously looking, then feeling upset, or angered.
Please take no personal offence by my comment, but you are allowing yourself to suffer, to feel upset, by making the 'choice' to look at their images.
Your ex bf and his new lady are not forcing you to look, regardless of what their motives may be.
It may be her intent, to air many images of herself and your ex, because a part of her, probably knows that you will be curious.
Don't give in to her childish behaviour and don't allow them to upset you, by not going online to view their images.
You are in control here, not them!
Also, the bigger thing here, is that your ex has also 'chosen' to be with her regardless, so she is not 100% to blame.
She didn't drag him into her life, by ball and chain.
No stable and level headed man, would be that desperate.
If your ex was truly committed to you and your then relationship, he'd never have walked away with her and you'd never have allowed him to go either.
Whichever way you look at this, you need to get on with your life, thus allowing you to get over your past, come to find closure, so that you can re-open your heart to finding true love again someday.
If you keep delving into the past, you won't be able to truly get over your ex and his doings and you won't be truly open to finding love again.
I wish you all the best and let me know how you get on. :-)
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 October 2015): Why???
Because you're a little scorned, feel betrayed, and you're not really over your ex. You blame her for taking him from you, and you have every right to feel pissed-off about that. Then you go and pour salt on your open wounds by looking up all her sleazy pics with your ex on Instagram. Girlfriend, stop! Don't do that to yourself. It will make you so bitter you'll repel all the better opportunities that may be coming your way. She's got power over you, and you empower her every-time you give her a thought!
First off, your ex-man has his on mind; and he preferred to follow the little head. You gave him up; so he can do the same thing to her eventually. Look at it this way, she's eating your leftover crumbs, and feasting on the sloppy seconds. He's the past, over and done with! Let go!!!
Toss his memory out like a beat-up old pair of his smelly sneakers and dingy boxers!
Get-over him, get-over her, then get-over yourself. Drama queens get stuck in one place; while people pick at your nerves. Time to stop peeping at her pics on Instagram, and go cold turkey. Put ten dollars in a jar every-time you break the rule and peep. At least make it productive. Then take the money you've accrued; and buy yourself a good book on how to move on, and get-over bitterness.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 October 2015): Because we fell out over him Tisha.
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (19 October 2015):
"She posts sleazy photos of her and him up on Instagram and Facebook to ****get back at me**** and her ex."
Wait. Why would she be getting back at you?
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (19 October 2015):
Because you let her?
Just block her so thoroughly there's no longer a chance that you'll see the photos.
Your ex is the one who ran off with her, she didn't have anything other than a now-extinct friendship with you, right? Your ex is the one who did this to you, he actually went so far as to pick a woman who is like one of those reality stars: posting anything and everything about their lives.
She gets under your skin because you keep peeking at her pictures. Why? I don't know. Maybe there's some part of you that rejoices in being so pissed off at her for all her sleazy glory?
But then there's that pesky thing, that she's not the one dumped you for her. She's the 'prize' your ex chose over you.... a sleazy prize but what really gets under your skin is that you perceive she's gotten away with it. There's no repercussions, she's not appropriately contrite and apologetic. She seems to be getting away with this and she's still on Instagram and Facebook posting all their adventures.
Just block her. Completely. So no sneaky peeks. Otherwise you'll just keep torturing yourself.
Maybe if this has gone for a long time and you can't move on you should talk with a counselor.
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