A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hello everyone! So I'm lesbian and I have a girlfriend called M and we've been together for 3 months soon and it's such happiness. Before meeting M, I had to struggle to have my best friend's heart which was a total failure. This best friend's name was K. In fact, K wasn't my BFF at first, I saw her at school and wanted to date her and then we kissed but she was straight and had a boyfriend. We got closer but she broke my heart because she said she didn't feel the same way about me. So we stayed friend or BFF but I still loved her at that time. Then after a year of struggling, I met M. Who had several relationships (ours was my first) before me and the last ex was T. M always loved T like I used to love K. When I started going out with M, T wanted to get her back... And now T has a girlfriend and wants to stay friends with my gf. But I just can't. When I see T in the street I become mad and I don't know why. I trust M but not T. I told K I didn't want to see her again because I didn't want to scare my girlfriend if K talks to me or wants to hang out. And K was the most important thing in my life. I know M doesn't love T anymore, but why staying friends? If they start to talk, maybe T would like to see my gf to hang out or so... And what if T falls in love again with her? I'm very afraid. I just can't trust T. What should I do?
View related questions:
best friend, has a girlfriend, her ex, lesbian Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 June 2012): Well I understand you being bothered by this situation. I think you should first tell M how you feel about this. You immediately got rid of K for which you felt was needed out of respect for M so I think she should do the same. Maybe T just want to keep your girlfriend around for her own personal reasons. Some people are just like that after break ups they want to still remain friends. I personally do not see the point. Also if M know she wanted her back prior to the two of you getting together, she should stay away. I think this situation will cause a lot of damage to your relationship if you do not express yourself. This is your first real relationship so a lot more may be a little bothering to you until you learn how to adjust or work things out with you girlfriend. Maybe you get angry when you see T on the streets because you feel a little threatened by their need to still be apart of each others' lives. And if so you should not be because M is with you now and T should have been doing her job. She is an ex for a reason. I wish you well sweetie.
A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (6 June 2012):
 Tell your girlfriend how you are feeling but at the end of the day it is her choice if she wants to remain friends with T. At the end of the day she must want her in her life as a friend or else she wouldn't do it. You say you trust her well that should be enough for you and you should not let T get to you. Jealousy is part of a relationship, and sometimes it can be healthy, but if you start getting angry at T or asking your girlfriend not to be friends with her then you might actually take it to far and lose your girlfriend.
...............................
|
