A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi There, I need some advice as I'm not sure what to do, I have used this site in the past and it has helped me a lot so I have come back for some more help :)I was engaged to get married and 3 weeks ago my partner told me out of the blue she doesn't love me anymore has not done for a long time and has feeling for someone else. i have not spoken or seen her in 3 weeks, last weekend her mum came round my house to collect all of her belongings...later that day I had a txt from her saying thanks for giving me all my stuff back, followed by a few more texts saying how much she misses me and thinks about me all the time, she invited me round for dinner which i said was not such a good idea.....i spoke to her sister who i get along with to ask if she really does miss me and apparently she does but she did say to her sister she would never want to get back with me....since giving all her stuff back she texts/phones me asking how i am and how my day has been...she came round and we had a chat about general stuff which went well..i asked if she and this other guy are an item (I know i shouldn't of asked !!) and she said no not yet they are taking it slowly....I loved her soo much i thought she was my soul mate..... Question is why does she want to get in touch and thinks about me, is she having regrets about what she has done, does she still love me deep down? and do i give her a second chance or not?Please help me understand why this is happening!Thanks :) and Merry Xmas
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (27 December 2011):
 I would be civil but chilly to her and NOT give her a second chance.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 December 2011): This woman is playing tricks on u: she wants to keep u on a backburner while she starts (or perhaps Started) another relationship with this other guy. She also has made contact bec she doesn't want to feel guilty. She doesn't want u to see the true person she is: she broke your heart for another man BUT she just now wants to play nice.Get rid of her from your life or else u will be still the fall back guy. Do u want to remain second best? Then love yourself enough to erase her from your life.Move on. Cut off all contact. Your season with her is over. She doesn't deserve a good guy like u.LoveGirl
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (25 December 2011): In a word she has nothing else to do. Ditch her. She is mixed up and too much like hard work.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 December 2011): Things havent worked out as she had hoped and as soon as they do she will drop you like hot coal. She is bored otherwise you wouldnt have heard off her. You are not her first choice. Drop this user.
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A
female
reader, dearkelja +, writes (24 December 2011):
 Holidays are making her feel lonely and nostalgic for what she had but things will never work.
I agree with the others that you need a no contact period of time so you can move on, as she already has.
Merry Christmas.
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A
female
reader, thinkb4  +, writes (24 December 2011):
She may not mean to, but she is playing games with your feelings. The best thing for you is to cut contact otherwise you are going to get knocked down again. I agree, if she had something better (which she probably wishes), you wouldnt even be in her thoughts. I think maybe the other person she has feelings for has not returned them and the best you will ever be is plan B. You should see yourself as better than that.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (24 December 2011): Sounds like she's just fallen out of love with you to be honest but is a nice person and still cares about how you are and wants you in her life in some way which is nice really. I wouldn't get your hopes up too much about her wanting to come back though sounds like that ship has sailed i'm afraid. I wouldn't give her the second chance and couldn't do the whole friends thing its just too complicated i've tried it and things get messy quick sometimes i find it best just to have no contact after a split. depends on you though could you handle finding out that she is with the other guy if you're still in love with her?? Maybe this makes me a lesser man but it would drive me up the wall. Your choice really but it certainly sounds as though she wants to be friends
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A
male
reader, Ldu  +, writes (24 December 2011):
its probably the classic case of , she loves you but isn't in love with you. Dont put your hopes up man, its not fair to yourself and interferes with your progress of moving on. She told her sister that she wouldn't get back with you, i Dont think there is a second chance for you to give her. Be surrounded by family member and loved ones for christmas and new years. Hope all goes well.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 December 2011): She is messed up. I have a feeling if someone else came along you will be thrown in the trash bin. She is lonely and that is her problem. Forget her. Find someone less complicated.
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