A
male
age
30-35,
*resario2010
writes:Well recently i started talking to this girl online, the online messaging was okay. We just chatted about normal things and she didnt seem to flirt too much, so i was not expecting much for our first meeting. So when we finally meet it was great, i felt at ease with her presence, she was easy to talk to and i thought it went great. well during the date we made eye contact and she smiled and laughed at my jokes and she even made fun of me, and she even copied my manuerism and told me it was funny.I also tried the touching game, where you know, you touch the other person to see how they react, i touched her several times on the shoulders and on the thighs, she did not seem to mind at all, she copied my touching, and touched me on the shoulders and on the thighs as well. although She kept on going about how she liked chocolate men and how she meet some and she liked them, so i was hurt by that...i thought she found someone else, but when i told her i would also find a chocolate lady, she looked at me and raised her fist and said where is she, i will fight her hahaha...kinda awkward. Anyways i soon found out she suscribed to this black guy's post on facebook, and she even posted on her wall and in quotes "your no good for me your no good for me, but i want you, i want you baby" i mean what the hell, she posted this the same day she subscribed to the guys post and even changed her profile picture, that day to seem more appealing. I was hurt by this and i let it go but later i sent her a message about how much i enjoyed our time, and i even told her i loved her, and was hoping to meet her again:) the funny thing was that when i told her that in the next few days she deleted her post in her wall and unsuscribed to the black guys post. I was so happy to see that, But the QUESTION i have is why does she flirt shamlessly with these guys she barely knows, like i mentioned above, but with me she just acts normal and doesnt even talk to me?Well i enjoyed our meeting it was amazing, but why does she do this with other guys but whenever she is online i send her a message and she replies with a yes or no reply and then logs off before i could continue the conversation? she never flirts with me like with the black guy and other guys, why why does she do this to me???
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male
reader, Cultuz  +, writes (13 February 2013):
As a guy, I'm telling you, this chick sounds terrible.
I also don't understand how it works in the USA. Do you people go on dates with several people at the same time? Where I'm from, that is really frowned upon.
A
female
reader, BondGirl72 +, writes (27 July 2012):
 You weren't "in love" with the girl in middle school. You had a crush which is a short term infatuation with someone. Love takes time to build. You must spend time together and get to know everything good and bad about one another. You get to know someone's habits and behaviors, how they treat people, and how they function in real life. You do not know any of that about this girl besides the fact she is very fickle and apparently will say anything online.
You should be learning a very important lesson about online relationships. You cannot rely upon what you know of someone online. People lie online and your girl may have done that. She may get caught up in playing around online. Now you know what she is really like...she's not the dream you thought she was. People can say anything they want on Facebook and not have to take responsibility for it. That is one of the pitfalls of well-intentioned people going on there to find a partner or a love-interest. These people frequently lie. That is why we constantly tell people on this site not to get too caught up with people they meet online. Don't be naive because someone could be just messing around without any intention of being a serious love interest for you.
I'm assuming Facebook was invented for people to keep up on one another's lives and to communicate...not to stalk people. That's not even funny as stalking is a VERY serious thing.
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A
male
reader, Presario2010 +, writes (26 July 2012):
Presario2010 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionwell seems your opinion is valid, although she is from a diffrent country, not from the USA, like me. Actually come to think of it all the time when i am online her friends or friends of friends that are women, seem to hit on me and i told her about this and she said that in her country it is normal and it's just women being women,and women in her country have more sex appeal. I will give you an example, listen to this in facebook when i log in and i get news of friends posting on my wall, guess what, these guys are in a relationshio every MONTH, and girls fall in love like everyday, i asked my friend about this and she said it was normal, but stupid. I guess i think you have a valid point where you said that after one date, you really can't say you love someone, but when i was in middle school i saw this girl and after seeing her i feel in love no first date or nothing, just happened and i stayed in love with her untill highschool, so it was a long time, and she had feelings for me, but never did anything about it. She also played the field like you said, while she was intrested in me, and it is funny because when i got closer to her and it would seem that i would ask her out, she would DUMP her boyfriend, which was akward and pressured me too much, but i guess though in the end i did not like her like that after years of liking her, i stopped for one reason or another, but i guess you are right love can blind you sometimes, i think that love is possible after one meeting, but maybe it is not the love you need. I think intercultural dating is exciting but it can be confusing, haha you guys said i stalked her facebook, isnt that why facebook was invinted...lol
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A
female
reader, BondGirl72 +, writes (26 July 2012):
First of all, when you have ONE DATE with someone, it does not mean you are "DATING". It means you've had one date, you're getting to know one another, and the POSSIBILITY is there for more dates. But in no way, shape, or form does it mean you are "dating" this girl.
Second of all, what do you expect people to do when they are on Facebook and other such sites? People can flirt on Facebook because it's easy and a lot of people do not take it seriously. When people are online, they do things they would never do in real life because they are safe sitting behind a computer. They can do and say whatever they feel like saying because they don't have to face anyone in REAL LIFE.
She may be immature...I personally don't know the girl and I don't think you know her very well either. You only know of her what she has posted online...which is sometimes inaccurate when it comes to real life. What IS immature is telling someone you love them on a first date, thinking you're in love with someone only after talking with them online, and judging someone by her Facebook posts. THAT is immature.
SHE DOES NOT KNOW YOU, SHE DOES NOT OWE YOU ANYTHING, SHE IS CERTAINLY NOT YOUR GIRLFRIEND. You strike me as someone who is obsessed with this girl and possessive of her even though there is nothing between you.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 July 2012): Well she's just not worth it mate, take up the other dating offers, the women might be more genuine and worth a look.
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A
male
reader, Presario2010 +, writes (26 July 2012):
Presario2010 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWell thanks for the comments, i suppose i should have said that we have known each other for about 6 months and then we meet. I do call her and such, but the thing that i still dont get is why would anyone date others, when they start dating one person, this DOES NOT make sense to me, i also have options of dating other women but do i do it NO, why would a girl date others when she is seeing someone,m too keep options, yeah right more like that person is immature, and doesnt know what they want, it would hurt to date someone and then have them see someone else
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 July 2012): I don't think she's interested in anything serious with any guy. She just flirts for fun. Also I don't think she finds you attractive in the way you find her attractive from what you said in you post, otherwise why not flirt with you the way she does other guys... Try and play it cool from now on, don't take her so literally, expect nothing from her and just chat as friends (if you want to still be friends if nothing else). Some people are just like that, and even if they flirt it doesn't mean they necessarily want anything other than a bit of chatty fun with guys. It would be nice if some people were upfront about their intentions and what they want and expect from others, but sometimes that's all part of the fun and thrill of the chase.
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A
female
reader, BondGirl72 +, writes (26 July 2012):
And I agree with Aunt Honesty...you don't tell ANY girl you love her on a first date. NO ONE will go out with you if you don't stop doing that. I absolutely love people, but even I do not want to hear someone loves me after just meeting them. You couldn't possibly love her, you hardly know her, so cool it.
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A
female
reader, BondGirl72 +, writes (26 July 2012):
You only met her one time and already you are hurting? You just met the girl. You've been on one date. She returned your touches. She laughed at your jokes. She could do a lot better with her conversational skills, but what do you expect on a first date...a miracle? Give the girl a chance. On a first date, a girl does not have to commit to you and you alone. She's still free to be herself and date other people. Don't take things so personally.
Also, things online are exactly that...they are things online. Facebook and other sites like it do not give a real representation of people. People play games, people flirt shamelessly, people lie, people do all sorts of things online that they would never do in person. What's my point? My point is...you CANNOT get to know this girl by her posts and what she puts on the internet. You cannot even get to know her by what she posts or doesn't post to you. If you want to talk to her, get her phone number or personal email address and talk with her that way. Talk with her by going out on another date. You following and analyzing her every move is starting to make me think you're more interested in stalking her than you are getting to know her in real life.
Maybe she doesn't flirt with you like she does the others because she never meets the others in real life and can say whatever she wants online. Like I said, people do all kinds of things online they would never do in real life. It sounds like she was flirting with you pretty good on your date...try another one.
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (25 July 2012):
 You have probably scared the poor girl away. She never done anything wrong. She met up with you for a date, you both had a good time, which is great. Then you see her flirting on line with other men, but you only met her the once, she is obviously keeping her options open until she meets a man and gets to know him and decides that he is the man for her. You told her you loved her, which scares me as you barely know this girl, this is probably why she does not interact with you much now at all. She is keeping her options open and I think you have came on to strong to soon. You can not be that clingy about someone who is not even your girlfriend or someone you are even dating, try and working on that before you consider dating someone, as this can escalate in to jealousy and possessive behaviour.
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