A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:Anal sex, why does my husband prefer it? we have a great sex life and we both enjoy anal sex, however it makes me feel like my vagina is second best because he tells me that his first choice is anal sex. He tells me the reason why is the forbidden factor and that it is better. He is being honest and I respect that, but I can't get it out of my mind that my vagina is second best, it makes me feel "less" a women. I would really appreciate to hear other peoples experiences around this
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 September 2009): To me, that is definitely odd. There seems to be a massive thing about anal sex - like it's the 'must-do' thing. Not sure if it's just this site or in general, but this is definitely a pro-anal site!
Personally, I much prefer vaginal sex by far, and have only very occasionally indulged in anal with ladies I have had a loving relationship with and then, just to say we've tried it.
I'd suggest having a chat with him, tell him you're not too happy about it as he seems to be taking this as the norm, not just the occasional detour it should be. You have a choice too, you know.
Good luck.
Good luck.
A
female
reader, Ingrid  +, writes (7 September 2009):
This really helped a lot, we have now talked about it and I understand a lot more now, your answer made me realize that our problem has is that we don't take the time to have romantic sex because we both like it a bit hard and rough and enjoy anal sex in the high gear if you understand. We both miss having the romantic sex and with it I will get the good "he loves my vagina feeling too" Thanks so much for your help x
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A
female
reader, LethalInjection-x  +, writes (7 September 2009):
 He's given a reason as to why he prefers anal sex, I also wouldn't rule out the fact that anal sex feels much tighter, and thus a "better" experience. I can understand why it's left you feeling that way though, as a vagina is something only women have. However, it's obvious that this isn't your husband's intention to make you feel that way.
I'd suggest talking to him and explaining how it makes you feel. You could ask whether there's anything that could make him enjoy vaginal sex more too, try to spice things up etc.
From my experience, I've found that the men I've been with have preferred vaginal sex when being more.. romantic I suppose, as in "making love".. whereas most, if not all, have preferred anal sex when it's been just sex. If you can understand that.
But honestly, don't let this eat at you. As he hasn't actually said it's second best and probably has no idea that this has upset you! x
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