A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I try to satisfy my husband... I'm constantly asking him what he fantasises about and if there is anything I can do sexually that would turn him on more than anything... his answer is always nothing... I don't have any fantasies... yea right!!! So as for all the porn I kept finding forever... is that not some fantasy? I would always notice a significant drop in our sex life and after snooping I would find porn... dvds, downloaded crap, sites, you name it! Then he would blame it on a coworker! oh yea my hair is just dyed bleach blonde... FOR HIM... cuz that's what he likes! We recently took a vacation... a whole week together... keep in mind we have only been married a year and a half... we had sex ONCE the whole time! Not cuz I wasn't willing cuz I'm always willing when he wants to! So I ask have you been looking at porn again... his response is what I expected... hell no and got real defensive... now he has learned to delete history and cookies on his computer so I can't really tell. I don't think I'm bad looking... everything I do is for him... I have 2 kids one is only 15 months... I'm only 10lbs shy of my pre baby weight which is pretty damn small... I just got fake boobs... I keep a tan... keep my hair bleach blonde... all for him cuz that's what he likes. So what's wrong with me? Why does he have to look at that perverted crap! I offered to watch the crap with him until he kept doing it behind my back... I just don't understand.... oh yea and we are both only 26 years old... shouldn't he be hitting it everyday if I let him? Well that's what most men say! HELP me understand this!
View related questions:
boobs, co-worker, porn, sex life, shy Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, thematthews07 +, writes (9 December 2007):
Men look at porn because mostly it's a carnal temptation. Now, each man looks at it for their own reasons. Some, because they feel that their not attractive because that's how their wife makes them feel, some, because they are perverse pedofiles who have unimaginable desires. Some, because they have a desire that can't be fulfilled with their wife because a dick in their mouth or ass is just too much! That's all understandable. Some look at it for an understanding from some sexual abuse as a child. That is the men who get angry when they get caught. They have been sexually abused and will probably never admit to it. I am in love w/my wife. It's not that I dont just love herbut I'm in love with her. I couldn't honestly answer why I look at it other than curiosity. Why? because I've never seen a black pussy, or mexican pussy, or so on and so forth. I feel more comfortable looking at it with her. But I don't get hard looking at it or attraction from it. If you're man is looking at it try and understand before you pre-judge. Because he has demons of some sort that haunt him and he's trying to cope with it. And being judge-mental doesn't help the situation. Don't just forgive him try and understand. And if he cant understand it himself you'll never be able to. Because untill he figures out what it is that makes him wonder he wont be able to share it with you. Now, if he is a pedofile all is lost, protect your children and yourself because he is a wolf in sheeps clothing. Lurking on any prey. Please Keep in mind all the things I've mentioned and understand him for who he is and the love he has. But, If he is that paedofile you'll know because he wants you sexually to be young and do young things. Men are perverse in many ways, and those who are called for Christ are tempted more than any one else believe it or not! So, no matter what man or situation it is still wrong to you the wife. Just know that as long as he is not that paedofile he loves you and just has demons of his own to deal with. And until he figures out that point the porn will continue. He is not looking at it for satisfaction because he still looks at you with that unconditional love. It's the fact that he's trying to sort through demons of his past that he don't want you factored into. He don't want to share his pain with you! He wants to understand it himself and then consult with you. A divorce is his stumbling block. That will prevent him from his understanding. He needs you and you abandoned him at that point. So now he's stuck! So please be understanding of him. His mom or sister or brother of father could have raped him at a young age and he's trying to figure some things out. Please be supportive and say the prayer of Psalms 27 and 92 and 93 to help yall' through your way. God Bless TheMatthews07
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 September 2007): Oh my god, you just perfectly described my situation with my husband. I cried when i read it because i know exactly how you feel. Still nobody has an answer as to why. The only thing that i can come up with from my research is that its an insecurity from their past or childhood. I find that answer not too comforting, because if that was so, i would have my own porno collection! But if u ever discover anything beleivable, let me know, its just something that is so hard to share with people you know face to face, because it just makes me feel like im saying, "Hey im not good enough for my husband, help me!"
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 September 2007): Hi Love,
Babys some men are different after there wife has a baby, Im not saying it is this but when did this all start to happen?
When I say this I mean when you have a child you are now a mother and some men see it as something different sexually, There is somthing ive read on this but cant think of the life of me now were and what it was called love, There may be some advise on this on the net...
About you changing the way you look to please him I just dont go with this are you happy apart from the obvious crap thats going down, Id go out and make me happy for one I had a husband who wanted blonde hair and blue eyes for me, And I thought im brunett ( if thats how u spell it) and brown eyes why would he bloody well go out with me in the first place after all there are many girls out there with the qualitys he desired, Head f**k.
Total control be and do what makes you happy yea you can dress to impress but there has to be a line, it sound like he wants a porn star... You offered to watch it with him good choice nothing wrong there, but there is something very wrong with his desire for sex with you, And it can make you feel so undesirable and miserable and then just depressed... Dont let it get that far, Look after you for you... please take care LOVE MANDY XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
...............................
|
