A
female
age
36-40,
*niks
writes:its been like 1 year for my marriage and now for few months i have come to my moms house for some work and i talk to my husband daily over phone and we chat online also but sometime he lies to me. Like, if i ask him what are you doing now he says nothing, whenever he is on computer he never tells me that i am sitting on pc and checking mails he can tell me that i have no problem with that, but i come to know that he was sitting on pc and why do he has to lie to me? why dont he straight away tell me that i am checking my emails? he will say either "i am doing nothing or i am watching tv" why will i have problem if he checks his email? but why dont he tell me that? i dont know what should i do so that he tells me the truth.. Reply to this Question
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (28 February 2010): He's looking at porn, that is what the internet is for.
No, really he is most likely doing something mundane like checking emails or searching google for nuclear physics sites, don't let it get to you, to men, doing these things is doing nothing. It isn't a lie at all.
Of course he could be watching porn.
A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (28 February 2010):
 Why do men lie and their reasons?
http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/8868/why_men_lie.html?cat=41
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A
female
reader, Laura1318 +, writes (28 February 2010):
Men and women don't think alike. They view things differently and talk differently.Men are simple creatures and when there are uninteresting things or unimportant things, they do not mention it and lump is as nothing important to talk about , unlike women who describe everything in fine details in their conversations .This is just his way of expressing things and he is not lying but he is not concern about those minor things .That's the way men talk and you need to adjust to them and not start having suspicious thoughts every time he makes a statement. Why!Why!Why!Everyone is unique and different. Just accept the way he is.There is no point in splitting hairs over who is right about what he is doing at the moment. Even two person witnessing the same accident scene can have two different versions.When a man says it is nothing or doing nothing , it means what he says. They are not hiding anything or intentionally telling a lie.
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A
female
reader, oicurb4me +, writes (28 February 2010):
I truely think that he gets arouised by the little lies, i mean, why else? i have the same problem. I ask everyday a couple of questions and 98% of the time it's a lie. Examle: did you let the dog out, he will look right at me and yes, if I say no you didn't, he gets all pissed off. Another example, did you pick up your meds from the phamacy and low and behold I get a yes. So I called the drug store and they told me no, but it's ready. I just want to know why this is a daily habit for him. Can someone help me, Im at my breaking point. I've asked him several times why must you lie, he told me to get over it, that hes been a lieier for his whole life, and if they are litle lies then what should it matter. Oh, and I did catch him lieing to me about the affair that he had on me, not once but twice......HELP
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A
female
reader, QuirkLady +, writes (2 October 2009):
 He's not lying to you. When he says "nothing," he means "nothing important." I suggest that you stop worrying about this because it is so small in the grand scheme of things. Sheesh!
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A
female
reader, petina1  +, writes (1 October 2009):
 Doesnt the internet cause lots of problems now. If it was me being a bit suspicious i would do some prying into the emails or the history or put a key logger on to the chat rooms. But hey, that's just me. Then if there was nothing to show up i would feel so guilty but relieved that I have nothing to worry about. But if i did find something out that I didnt want to see then there'd be hell on. The bottom line is trust. Do you pry? or do you leave it alone and trust your man? All im saying is, there is ways to find out things if you are suspicious but at the end of the day it could also blow the relationship apart. If you want to see what he's doing there and then, get a web cam.
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A
female
reader, Lola1  +, writes (1 October 2009):
 Wow. When he answers that he is doing nothing, it means "nothing worth discussing."
You sound suspicious. Like you're LOOKING for something to be upset about.
A better question would be: Why do you need him to disclose every mind-numbing detail?
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 October 2009): Perhaps he says that because he doesn't want to get into a discussion about menial things.
My girlfriend calls me up quite often too and in the beginning of our relationship she'd ask questions like "what are you doing now? what are you thinking about? doing anything interesting?" and other conversation fillers on the phone, personally I find that a waste of time.
I love her and love hearing about her day but not useless small talk for the sake of talking while I'm doing something else. To be honest I don't find checking my e-mails interesting enough to get into a protracted conversation about it on the phone, perhaps he's the same.
I prefer to be there with my girlfriend to talk to her about meaningless stuff, phones are too impersonal. I've explained this to her and unless she has some news or wants to tell me something or find out something then she doesn't call just for the sake of talking about nothing. It's a waste of time and money, especially seeing as we live with each other.
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (1 October 2009):
 Maybe he thinks if he says he's on the computer you'll think he was surfing porn sites.
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