A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:HiWell Broke up with my GF about 2 months ago. I still see her every day /second day, and we are trying to be friends. She basically told me she isnt interested in sex/kissing with anyone, and yea. Anyway, lately I have been swamped with uni assignments, I am stuck at home on our mid semester break, while she has been going out with her friends. I know if something happens she will tell me, or I hope at least. Anyway, as a result of this i have been unable to sleep properly I stay up to 2-3 am in the morning, lying in bed (go on my laptop because I cant sleep). I dont know what it is i want. I feel as if she has basically got over me, and only talks to me when she misses me. If i try to hug her, or hold her hand (I dont often) she will say no blah blah blah, though SHE will do it to me (hold my hand)Basically, I feel as if i cant get over this, i cant stop thinking whats happening. I know shes gone, I know I shouldnt expect her to come back to me, but part of me still wonders what shes doing, what shes thinking, does she care about me etc.This is my first serious relationship (nearly 2 years). Are breakups meant to be like this. How can I get over her, and still see her (as a friend?) I know i need to go out and meet people but blah. Thanks..=[=[
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reader, anonymous, writes (1 October 2009): You're doing it wrong. You don't get over someone by seeing them every day and immediately trying to be friends, because you don't have time to grieve then or let your emotions recover.
Recovery time for a break up is not a concrete thing, it depends on how you cope with things and what kind of actions you take to help yourself.
You have very strong feelings for this girl and as long as keep meeting her and trying to be friends with her the harder it is for these feelings to pass. You need to take a bit of time away from her, so you can gather stock of your situation and start to heal. I'm not saying cut her out completely, just enough so other emotions can form.
Meeting a new girl won't help and you'll just rebound and end up hurting that girl.
Your health is starting to suffer from this, you need to take a step back and move on, if you become friends again after you've gotten over her then all the better, but your health must come first.
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