A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I talked to my ex today for a long time .We laughed about old and new events in our lives even though we live so far apart we still have feeling for one another.We went our own way I moved and he stayed.So now he is giving little hints on coming down to where I live like I told him I don't think he is ready one minute he is coming next it's something somebody put in his head and he changes his mind.We want to be together but if there is doubt then I think we need to stay apart. So now he is talking marriage it's the whole nine yards Idk.What do you think?
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male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (4 September 2012):
 IN your header, it sez that your age is 36 - 40YO.
The guy who you describe in your submittal sounds to be about age 11-13 YO.... so HE IS 'WAY TOO YOUNG FOR YOU!!!!
Find a guy who is closer to your age!!!
Good luck....
A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (4 September 2012):
 I think that you answered your own question. as long as there is doubt, it is better that you stay apart.
Then, exes are exes for a reason, in general. I am not surprisded that he is hesitating. I am sure you too miss each other, and there still are mutual feelings, but, unluckily, being together is not all about feelings, not in the long run. It is about compatibility, and sharing a common plan/vision for the future, and a kind of live that is suitable for both. That includes also location,work, chances of better income career, friendships...To reach you , your ex should give up his current life andf start a nrew one, on the base of feelings that may be strong.... but have not been strong enough to keep you together to begin with. A risky proposition, and personally I asm not surprised that he is having a hard time deciding. I understand that you canüt wait for his decision forever, but, if you can, atm do not pressure him yet. This should be his firm, heartfelt decision, if instead he just yields to pressure and uproots himself only to make you happy,- or worse, to make you stop nagging-- that will eventually come back to bite both in your ass.
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A
male
reader, SensitiveBloke  +, writes (4 September 2012):
 It's way too soon to be talking about marriage. Why did you split up? Have you good reason to think the same issues won't be a problem second time round?
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A
female
reader, AskChlo +, writes (4 September 2012):
Sometimes feelings can be deceiving, it could just be that you are both missing each others company rather than feeling more for each other. If you both feel strongly for one an other the best thing to do would be to take things slow, try expressing your feelings to him and suggest maybe meeting up more before you make any drastic decisions. You dont want to make a big move and regret it!
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