A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Why does my ex still talk to me and want to see me if she has a boyfriend? We were together for a long time 2.5+ years, and she started dating him about a week after our breakup. The last month we have stayed in contact about three to four times a week, hung out about once a week. When I didn't call her soon enough the other day, she got upset, thought I was ignoring her or something. She still wants to "hang out" and go to our favorite places. Shouldn't she keep her distance this soon after (4 months post breakup) and with a new bf?
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female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (2 May 2010):
 Do you still love her and want her ?
If you are no more interested in her, you should not give her any false hope. Cut off all contacts with her.
If you want to reconcile with her, you will have to ask her about her new b/f and her real intentions.
Her new b/f could be a rebound relationship or just a temporary band aid for the loneliness and the pain of separations.He could be the fall guy.
A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (2 May 2010):
You're the 'just in case guy', and she's getting a kick out of controlling you like this. She just cares about herself, not you. Whatever you do, don't go back to her. And more importantly, I think it's best if you just tell her that it's time to move on and that you will be cutting contact from now. Don't sit there and let her use you like this.
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (2 May 2010):
 Sure she should. If she does not it's because she likes to have an extra option just in case. It makes her feel good knowing she has influence over more than one man.
Women can be as manipulative as men,:) if they want.
Don't play her game. She is still in close contact with you because you allow that. You don't allow that- end of your problem.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 May 2010): Your ex is doing what guys to all the time to their ex's, she wants to keep you around as a "just in case" guy. This girl doesn't really care about you, she cares more about herself, her feelings and what she wants. Believe me, if you go back to her, she will hurt you again. Furthermore, she can't continue to try and contact you if you put your foot down and make it known that you have no interest in her. You are giving her mix-messages instead of being straightforward. You may still have feelings for her, which is why you continue to call her and allow her to contact you.
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