A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hey everyone, you guys give great advice as I have been on here before, but I am back again.The boyfriend and I have been with each other for like 7 months. Long story short, him and his ex from a while ago had a bad break up. She didn't really treat him right and cheated on him. Eventually after their relationship started going really downhill, she dumped him. They tried to work things out for months, but it didn't end up working out.They've had an on again off again type of friendship since they broke up. They would talk and be friends for a few weeks, then kind of go distant for a while, and it would kind of continue like that. Recently, they've been talking to each other again and I've just been wondering why my boyfriend keeps dealing with her. He says she was a bad girlfriend but she's a good friend and they work out better as friends? I mean she hurt him and dumped him but continues to reach out to him and says she doesn't want to lose him in her life?Just a little confused I guess but maybe I'm thinking way too much about this and over-reacting. What upsets me the most is that she hurts my boyfriend and I don't think she really cares about him or respects him even as a friend.
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female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (1 January 2014):
 I would honestly be more upset that HE is choosing to be her "friend" after all that happened.
They are exes. They do not "share some great bond" that needs to be kept alive by friendship that is bullshit.
There was a reason they ended it, WHAT is the real reason he NOW wants her around? That is what I would ask him. I would also ask him how HE would feel if the shoe was on the other foot and you NEEDED to stay friends with a drama ex.
A
female
reader, Atsweet1 +, writes (1 January 2014):
 Its a matter of you not knowing the full story or history of them. If they are not getting back together which is unlikely you should not worry. Its a issue of her perhaps she is doing a investigation to heal past hurt you dont know the full story about them only what he tells you which Im sure is true to some degree. I would as add theres always a cause and effect and reason events take place. He may have cause the treatment he recieved from her and Im sure he feels this way cause they are friends to a degree. I would also find out from both parties what there versions or summaries of the story is he may information that conflicts with her information of what really happen. He too maybe keeping her in the picture cause he just cares or for a surprise reason. It may be somethings your not fully aware of. Solve it.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 January 2014): It's okay for exes to be friends when they parted on friendly terms. When they are completely over each other, and the connection is positive and the new relationship is not effected by it.
Seriously, I think there comes a point when the ex really needs to move on and get a life. Especially when they have been nothing but heartache and drama.
Who gives a rat's ass about her feelings after they've been through hell with each other. That doesn't have to be a part of what you two share together now.
All the ex does is dig up the past, and all the bad memories that come with it.
There comes a time when you need to exorcise all the old demons, and just move the f--k on. Seriously, I mean it!
Encourage your boyfriend to let her go. Cancel her from your/his life and move on and be free. Delete her from your Facebook, and block every other feed she can seep her poisonous existence through into your lives.
Sometimes they need a push; no...a boot out the door!
That's because they cling to old bad memories that have no particular importance in the present. They invade your space and intrude on your privacy.
You are his present. Possibly his future. His number one.
You are the one who came along and healed the wounds. All she does is re-open them. It's time he be a man and cast her out of your world. For good!
Don't get all confrontational and bitchy. Just bring him into the present. Let him know it doesn't make you feel like you are the one he is really focused on. She distracts him in a negative way. You feel it too.
Urge him to go no contact; so they both can move on and totally detach. As long as he keeps an open channel for her to contact him, she'll be like a dark cloud over your relationship.
She is doing all she can to keep him in the same old dark place he was with her. Some "friendships" just aren't necessary. This is one of them.
Talk with your boyfriend and urge him to just work on what you two have together. Get her out of your lives, so you both can cultivate your new relationship.
When someone supposedly brought so much pain and trouble into your life. Why the hell would you want to be friends with them?
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