A
female
age
,
anonymous
writes:Why does my boyfriend show no affection towards me? It's been 9 months and we've had sex maybe a doz. times. Were both in our 50's. He says he loves me. Is this love? I don't think so. Please help. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, livi  +, writes (24 March 2007):
 hey,
perhapse he is telling you he loves you just not in a way that you can notice. focus on the little things and im sure it will hit you that he loves you .
gd luk :D
A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 March 2007): I can recommend you the book "The five Languages of Love" from Gary Capman. Then you may realise, that he does actually show you his love, but you don't understand it, bacause you speak a different laguage of love.
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A
female
reader, Midge +, writes (21 March 2007):
 There are a lot of relationships where one of the people dont show affection, but that doesnt mean that they dont love each other. They just arent the affection showing type!
I was never an affection showing type of person, but since I met my boyfriend its quite the opposite. However, he doesnt like showing any affection at all. This doesnt mean he doesnt love me, just that he isnt comfortable showing his feelings. Its like he feels that if I know how he feels it exposes him for being weak! Thats not the case, but that is how they are programmed!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 March 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for your answers. We have spoke about it. He has also taken medicine for it. The problem is he falls asleep so I couldn't tell you if it works or not. He says I want sex too much. I tell him he should be so lucky to have a women over 50 that still has a high sex drive. As far as in love or love me we have also spoke about that also. He says to him when you tell someone you love them that means your in love. I just don't understand how you can be in love and barely show it physically.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 March 2007): If you are both in your 50's then his sex drive has possibly lessened. I does happen in men, although i think women are a lot different, but don't quote me. Have a chat with him and see if there are any underlying problems but don't base your lives on sex. It should be seen as the icing on the cake, just as long as the whole cake is ok. How do you two get on otherwise, if great, then accept this is how it will be. Don't throw away a great man just because his sex drive is low. Just talk and i'm sure everything will be ok.
Take care and keep in touch if you want.
xx
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A
female
reader, Midge +, writes (21 March 2007):
My boyfriend doesnt show much affection either, however he shows his emotions in other ways. He doesnt give me kisses or hugs or anything like that.
He has never been the touchy, feelly type of person, but I accept him for that.
There is also a 10 year age gap and that does affect the sex drive too. A guys sex drive definately diminishes as they get older, this I have noticed with my boyfriend. I am 31 and he is 41. A womans sex drive, (not all woman) have a higher sex drive for longer than men later in life. Everyones sex drive is different, so you cant generalise.
His sex drive has obviously decreased and so doesnt want to make love as much. Very normal though!
Just because he doesnt want to make love, doesnt mean he doesnt love you! A relationship should not only be based on love making.
Speak to him about it and ask if there is "a problem" as this could possibly be a problem, or if he loves you, but not in love with you. I think you'll find his sex drive has just slowed down dramatically!
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