A
female
age
41-50,
*affy
writes:Why does my boyfriend not come every time but keep an erection?
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male
reader, dddddddd  +, writes (10 June 2009):
It could merely be that you have sex everyday and physically his body doesn't need to cum that often. I am not saying you need to reduce the sex, as I am sure he enjoys it, just that I wouldn't take it personally that he doesn't cum. He has an erection so he is attracted enough.
A
female
reader, daffy +, writes (8 June 2009):
daffy is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI have told him and he has reasured me its nothing to do with me but worried he is saving my feelings as I have put on weight (which I am trying to lose)
we have a very active sex life (once a day) and have no guilt issues when it comes to sex and are very commited to each other. I am just praying its not psychological :(
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A
male
reader, baddogbj  +, writes (8 June 2009):
 Is he late 30s early 40s?
This goes by the medical term "ejaculatory incompetence" which, personally I find a rather judgemental term!
It's not that uncommon in men of our age group. My understanding is that it is a little bit physical and a bit mental. We're getting a bit less fit, we maybe don't get quite enough sleep but at the same time we've had quite a bit of sex in our lives and whilst we really want to please you and make sure that you have a good time our brain is no longer thinking "Wow - naked woman ! Bam!"
It CAN be a sign of underlying Kidney problems so get that checked out but if no problem there then just make sure that he is getting enough water and enough sleep and try to introduce some novelty into your sex.
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A
male
reader, dddddddd +, writes (8 June 2009):
Probably because he just doesn't. Every guy is different. Some guys don't cum at the drop of a hat, and at times don't cum at all. Doesn't necessarily mean anything.
It could be just the way he is or there could be quite innocent reasons like he tries not to cum (as he wants it to go on longer) and then that can make it harder to when he wnats to! Also, if he is cumming regularly he may be less inclined to. Not neecessarily a choice but just the way it works out.
I wouldn't be concerned by it.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 June 2009): from a guy...
99% probability it's psychological. It is one of three things and he does not consciously know any of this:
1. He is not fully committed and so is subconsciously holding back. Consciously no guy turns down sex. Clinton did it in the Oval Office.
2. He is anxious if he is doing a good enough for you sexually.
3. He has a latent feeling that sex is dirty (thanks society) and that ejaculating in you or on you is a disgusting act of disrespect.
The solution to all three is the same: you get much more aggressive and communicate to him that you just LOVE ejaculate from HIM, in you, on you, around you, etc. Once he trusts you on that, you will have more semen than you know what to do with.
If that doesn't work an ED drug might help, even if just for the placebo effect. Psychological problems can yield to psychological solutions.
There is just one problem...where to get the ED drug. Most guys are too way, way too embarrassed to walk up to another guy (even if he's in a white coat) and say,
"I don't know how to use mine (so I am not a man). Please help me (so I can be a man)." They just know that the guy, even if he is a doctor, is laughing at him inside.
I couldn't do it.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 June 2009): alot of boys are diffrent and can sometimes cum but have a very short erecton.
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