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age
36-40,
anonymous
writes: I've been with my boyfriend for eight months, and its been very happy! Except for catching him once before doing things online that he shouldn't have been doing, I have no reason to suspect him of cheating or intending to cheat on me. However, there's one girl who has recently come on the scene. I don't know if I'm right to be worried, but I am.She comes to quite a few of his friends parties (though I have never met her myself). When I was away for a month over Christmas, she made advances towards him, telling him how much she fancied him and repeatedly trying to kiss him. She also said that if he ever got 'fed up' of me, or if he ever wanted a bit of fun on the side, for him to give her a call. I've seen photos of the girl on her blogs, and usually I wouldn't be worried. She's tarty and drinks like a fish! But she won't leave him alone. He told her at Christmas that he liked her (as a friend), but was happy with his girlfriend (me). She's interpreted this to mean that he would be with her if it were not for me. She constantly texts and emails him, and always makes some snide comment about me, or tells him how similar and how well suited they are! She reads my blogs up to ten times a day and has written vicious comments about me on the net. I'm just sick of her behaviour. Her constant contact and hints are making me upset and insecure. Should I just laugh it off and ignore her? Or should I say somethng to my boyfriend?
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (22 February 2007): you are in trouble. You both are very young and your boyfriend probably lacks the judgement and self control, to ultimately call it off. He can't fend off the attention. You are confronting a whore, and men like whores. If you think you really love him and want him forever, confront him and offer him an ultimateum. He must shut this girl out completely. You may also want to consider what it is you want in the long run as well. Do you really love this preson or the idea of this person, or the idea of being in a relationship. You could likewise hedge your bets and seek the afection of some othe fellow, the danger here is that you're playing manipulative games which convoloute your own feelings and you start reacting to the behavior of others instead of listening to your own heart. It's a terrble sign that you haven't met her and they're in constant contact.
I have been this guy.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 February 2007): Tell your boyfriend how you feel about this, there's no way that you can carry on knowing that some other girl is bitching about you to him plus making her move on him. He's got to tell her to back off and any extra texts he gets from her he's got to ignore. If he wants you and not her he'll do it. If he decides to just carry on the way he is and ignore you then you know that he is a waste of space and then you need to dump him before this girl gets her claws into your boyfriend.
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A
female
reader, JulietteElise  +, writes (7 February 2007):
 This girl has gone ouuuuttttt of her way to upset you, so it's not just that your're insequre. However, i don't think your bf will want to be with her either or he wouldn't have told you how she had acted over x-mas. If he dousn't know already, you need to tell him how she's been malicious to you on your web blog, and ask him to tell her to back off! I don't know why your b/f is friendly with her (if he is at all) but perhaps its just that he knows he has to deal with her due to haveing commen friends and thus seeing her often he wants to try to be civial. She shouldn't be e-mailing and texting him constantly to beg him to date her and put you down. If you b/f loved you, he would deff. ask her to stop putting you down, and tell her that hes with you and wants to be with you. Unfortunitly since she's so persistinet it would be impossable for you to laugh off or ignore, so you should deff. talk to your b/f about this, not to yell or acuse him of anything, but to tell him how this is makeing you feel, and to ask him why he hasnt told her to back off (and its possable that he has done this!). I don't know if he is intrested in her, but he may just enjoy all the attention and compliments. I'm not saying you should demand him to choose between you or his friendship with her, just that you should deff. talk to your bf about this. You shouldn't feel insequre, anything she says is obviosuly a lie and an attempt to make you upset (and insequre) so she can try to have him all to herself (and he might not ever want to date her to begin with!). Its extremly sad and pathetic of her to try to get a taken guy, and her tatics are extremly childish. she's a very empty person. However... since she hasn't given up, perhaps your bf's comments (which seem to be polite to keep the general peace... but once again you will need to talk about it all calmly) might be encourageing her more, so if he dousn't have an intrest in her and does love you, he will need to be more direct and forcefull.
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A
female
reader, CRYSTAL23  +, writes (7 February 2007):
 No,do not ignore this,tell your boyfriend that he has to tell this girl that he is with you and that they will never be together and why would he even want to be her friend if shes saying nasty things about you?You have all the right in the world to be worried,for one if he even talks to her knowing it bothers you,mabey there is more to them jsut being frineds,because if he cares about you and your feelings he would get rid of her out of both of your lives,she is going to ruin your relationship.This doesnt mean your jealous or anything it means your human,what woman wants another woman communicating with there man if she already tried to do things with him,knowing hes wit you,she tells him she wants to be with him on the side?He still talks to her?You should really think about that.why would he talk to this girl she sounds honestly like a slut and i bet him turning her down is ticking he roff even more and shes getting more and more jealous of you,So talk to your boyfriend tell him you hope there is nothing going on but why is he still even keeping co tact with her while shes trying to destroy what yous have?Its not right at all,but another thing do not let her know that its bothering you,yes laugh it off,becuase that is what she wants.
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