A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:hi there, i maybe sound so silly, but i cant help it. thats the reason im here, cos i wanna feel better. i have a boyfriend.we are now almost 9 months in relationship. we are not living together, cos our city are more than 2 hours drive from each other. he come to me when he has time and so do i to him. i love him yes and i think i can feel that he have also feelings for me. he is working and im working, so its not easy for us for now to decide to stay together and i dont know also, if i am going to transfer to his place cos i see still some things of his wife in his house. the thing is, he was divorce to his ex wife who cheated on him. my problem is, everytime i come and visit him in his house, i still see some memorable things of his ex wife. i know already that she is his past, but what hurt me is still im seeing some of her things at his house, a picture of his ex mother in law, still there on display. sometimes i feel like i wanna run away and just disappear and dont come and see him anymore. i dont like to get hurt anymore, i was cheated by past relationship for already 3x and im tired of it. theres so many times already i talked to my bf about this things of his ex wife in his house. i know he is a busy man and got not much time to sort this all out in just one click. im trying to just let it go, many times but theres some time comin like today, i have no feelings of letting it go. i know that if i talked about this it will lead us only to a fight. guys, i dont care anymore what my bf wanna do with those all things. what im asking here is a help for my self. i wanna learn how to just let it go, sometimes, i just dont wanna see him anymore, sometimes, i just dont wanna have any boyfriend anymore. sometimes man dont understand or maybe not so much sensitive to the feelings of his woman. i am widow, my husband never cheated on me, my marriage is maybe not perfect. but i know in my heart, that i am the only one in the eyes of my late husband. i know that i am his queen. my husband never let me feel that i have somebody to jealous about, not even his ex wife! yes my husband has also ex wife, but i never feel like this before. but with my bf now, i dont understand it now and im getting tired. i dont like this feelings anymore, i dont like this feeling like, he still not move on to his ex wife. i dont understand it anymore, shall i brake up with him? and just live my life alone? honesty, im getting tired of being in a relationship already. its just always the same, its only good at first meeting then after certain time, thing change, i dont know, im just getting tired, im putting so much emotions, so much love so much honesty, sincerity, im sometimes on the point that im the one whos doing more effort so that we can get along cos he has no much time because of his work. a moment like this sometimes i more feel like, maybe its better to just live alone and no more relationship anymore. please help me guys, i maybe sounds so unreasonable now, but im down to my emotion now, cos this is not the first time, its all the time. and i dont know' i have no intention anymore to look for another man. i just, dont want it anymore...
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cheated on me, divorce, ex-wife, his ex, jealous, move on Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Kate1967  +, writes (22 March 2016):
I think you are finding the long distance a problem.I wouldn't worry too much about reminders of your boyfriend's ex in the house. He may have liked his mother in law and maybe they still keep in touch. He didn't divorce her, just the ex. Quite honestly, men don't notice their "stuff" that much anyway. If you some day live together, then maybe you could rearrange the decor.You sound like you are on the rebound from you deceased husband. I think you need some grief counselling to put your mind at rest over your deceased husband. I have heard it takes 5 years to get over something as devastating as that ... not every day is bad but it affects us in ways we don't know.Be patient with your boyfriend. But if you need to focus on you, then you should break it off.
A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (17 February 2016):
 Do you feel that you have gotten over your husband fully? I am sorry that your husband died, that must have been difficult for you. Did you give yourself time to heal when he died?
I have a feeling you are picking out faults because you are comparing him to your deceased husband. Maybe it would be a good idea for you to get some counselling? Talk to a professional who can get to the deep root of your problems and help you through these hard times.
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