A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I would like some advice about this guy I'm dating. We've been seeing each other about once a week, sometimes twice a week for 10 weeks. I haven't felt such a strong and genuine connection with a guy for a long time and I'm certain he feels it too. He makes an effort to see me, we keep in touch between dates almost every day. I know he doesn't like talking on the phone but we have chatted a few times. He texts me really sweet things, says he misses me and wants to protect me. He's very affectionate and loving on dates. He talks about future plans and how much he'd like me to come to his place for a movie day. He also booked an exhibition for us a month in advance.He's very generous with money. We'd talked about how cool it would be to go to the Astronight event at the Science Museum in London, until I looked it up and saw how expensive it was (180 pounds per person). I told him about it thinking that we'd laugh about the ridiculous price but he booked it for both of us and said I didn't owe him anything. He also spent a fortune for Valentine's Day booking a restaurant, a trip on the London Eye and a luxury hotel. I'm not materialistic and I don't expect anything from him but he does treat me really well. We haven’t had sex yet and I’m wondering if and how to bring up exclusivity. In the hotel nothing happened between us, we just slept. He’s said that he doesn’t want me to feel pressured. He said he likes trust and intimacy but he also doesn’t like to rush things. I told him that I like that too but I’m not ready yet. We had a long chat about this and he thanked me for being honest and said that he feels like he wants to get to know me better before having sex. Should I bring up exclusivity or is it too early? If so, how should I approach it? I don’t think he’ll be turned off because he seems really into me but I don’t want to pressure him or scare him away. I was thinking of saying something like “I really love spending time with you and I want to continue seeing you. I’m looking for an exclusive relationship with the right person and I wondered how you feel about that.” Does that sound ok or should I just leave it and see what happens?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 February 2016): Thanks for the reply, really appreciate it. I've decided I'm not going to say anything yet. I thought about it a lot and I think you're right; it is still early and it's better to wait. It also sounds unintentionally pushy and controlling. There are also no guarantees, who knows what will happen later down the line. I think I'm just going to enjoy what we have now and take each day as it comes.
A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (17 February 2016):
 If you feel the need to say it to him then sure go ahead and say it to him. At least you are being honest. However in my opinion it is still very early. He seems to be treating you great, it seems to be going very well between you both and my guess is that this will be the next natural step. So if you want to bite the bullet then sure go ahead and ask him. But my advice would be to wait a little while longer and just enjoy what you both have at the moment.
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