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female
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anonymous
writes: Wedding Talk Weirdness!My BF of 8 years has brought up the subject of marriage a few times now. He often picks the wrong times to bring it up. Most often when I am in a bad mood and then I just clam up! I don't mean to do this it just happens! He picks the most unromantic times to bring this up !! Why? Also, I don't want to talk about it !! I just want him to surprise/ask me! What do I do? Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (2 November 2006): i think you're selfish, sorry =(
A
male
reader, davie  +, writes (2 November 2006):
It sounds like you might be making it very difficult for him. He is unlikely to surprise you with a proposal when every time he's spoken of marriage you've clamed up. As a result of your responses to marriage talk he might be wondering whether or not you even want to get married.
I'd advise that next time you don't clam up, or otherwise you chose the time to talk about it. It isn't solely up to him to raise the issue of marriage. Let him know you do like the idea (which you obviously do) and then he'll know.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 November 2006): surprise him if your so determined to have it your way- you obviously want to marry him and him you so why are you makin a big deal about a question? youll stop him asking at all if your not nicer-he wont bother
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 November 2006): I don't understand why he can't talk to you about it apart from when you're in a bad mood etc. You might have to talk to him. But maybe he brings it up mostly when you're in a bad mood because he can't think of anything else to say and might be trying to cheer you up. Men are clueless when women are in a bad mood. My fiance does the same. He's teaching me how to drive before I go for my driving lessons and when I'm in a bad mood, he'll bring that up and ask me if I want to go for a driving lesson. Any other time I've got to ask him. I know he's just trying to cheer me up but it is annoying.
As for the surprise, he might still surprise you but he might be trying to find out what you want too because he might be scared of doing it all wrong and then you saying no because the proposal wasn't 'perfect'.
x
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