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Why does my boyfried suddenly want me to make the first moves before we can have sex?

Tagged as: Dating, Sex<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (8 March 2007) 6 Answers - (Newest, 9 March 2007)
A female United Kingdom age 30-35, *melx writes:

Why does my boyfried suddenly want me to make the first moves before we can have sex?

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A female reader, Bella55 South Africa +, writes (9 March 2007):

Maybe he is a shy kind of guy. In the beginning of a relationship you dont see these kind of things but slowly you start noticing that youre making the moves all time.My man does not initate sex either, and when I ask him why, he says that its just his gentlemen manners, he doesnt ever want to pressurise me to have sex if im not in the mood. Hes unsure when I want it. Little does he know that I want it all the time, and that I too get tired of making the first move all the time. Some guys are generally shy and its more out of respect than anything. Once youve understood this, youll be thankful that you have a very caring man.

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A female reader, Peachesregina United States +, writes (9 March 2007):

My husband and I have been together for 6years, married 3, with 1 child and he doesnt show me any attention, i'm currently not working and he's taking care all the bill's but he uses it as a excuse for everything, and I have completly given up on trying with him, do anyone have any advice?

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A female reader, Roami United Kingdom +, writes (9 March 2007):

It's difficult to give a response to that question without having any more background information.

You mention 'suddenly' which suggests he was happy to have sex and make the first moves in the past - or is this the first time you are having sex?

Maybe he wants to make sure that having sex is something you are happy and comfortable with and not being badgered or conjoled into. If you make the first moves he knows you want him. Are you perhaps unconsciously anxious about the relationship and/or having sex at all. Your boyfriend may have picked up on this and maybe he is fearful of losing you and he needs reasurrance that you still love him.

I would suggest trying to have an open discussion with you boyfriend to try to find out how he is feeling as it is difficult to know what might be going on for him at this moment.

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A female reader, AngelofLove United Kingdom +, writes (9 March 2007):

AngelofLove agony auntNot sure how long have you two been together but he probably wants reassurance, to feel desired or to bring more excitment to your love life. This is is not a bad thing.

It is a turn on for some guys to be seduced by women, it makes them feel wanted.

You should only worry if your boyfriend doesn't want to do it. It is a good sign that he is telling you how he feels and that he wants you to "pounce" on him.

Good luck and enjoy

Angel of Love

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A female reader, Ask Heather +, writes (9 March 2007):

Ask Heather agony auntAs you ask why he suddenly wants you to make the first move, I am presuming that up until now he was making the moves on you. A Good relationship is both ways, and it will make him feel very special & wanted if you sometimes initiate sex too. If you`re not used to doing this, just swallow any inhibitions and go for it. The moans of pleasure from your boyfriend will reward you, and tell you that he`s really enjoying you taking the lead for a change! Heather.

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A female reader, cd206 United Kingdom +, writes (9 March 2007):

cd206 agony auntHe probably wants to be sure you really want it. Guys have to be so careful because sometimes a girl changes her mind part way through and then he can be accused of all sorts. Also is it possible that your boyfriend is a virgin and doesn't exactly know how to make the first moves? Just because he's the guy doesn't mean it's his job to make the first moves. Most guys find it sexy if the girl does.

CD

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