A
female
age
30-35,
*rincess166
writes:hey guys,on the weekends usually my partner and i will see each other on either a friday and saturday or a sat and sunday. tonight (fri) he decided to hang with his friends. around 10pm tonight he msged asking what i was up to and said he was bored and missed me, i said i was still at home with a friend. i knew he wanted to see me so i asked him to come get me. he said he drank too much to come get me and was too far. so i asked him to see me tomorow lunch since he said he would see me on sat or sunday. and he said "yeah maybe". i was annoyed and asked if he was going out on sat night and he said yeah probably.so then i msged him saying "why do you tell me you miss me but when i ask to see you, you dont want to? its like youre playing around with me because youll only want to see me when your plans fall through.then he replies okay no lunch tomorowso then i ask him how about later on that night?and no reply, texted him twice after and no reply.i am so angry that he cant make up his mind whether he will hang out with me or not. if he asks to see me tomorow should i ignore him? why would he say he misses me then be unsure whether to see me? im really upset and frustrated. what should i do? please help =(
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 June 2011): You've worked yourself up into a lather over a harmless message when all you had to say was 'I miss you too. We'll see each other this weekend. Have fun. xo' or something along those lines. All your boyfriend did was send you a nice message saying he missed you. Most people would have taken it as the expression of affection it was intended to be. Instead you expected him to drop everything and everyone to come and see you. When he called, you already had a guest who you apparently had no problem displacing to accomodate him. How rude is that? Not only is it ill mannered, but it undermines you in this relationship. You have just taught your boyfriend that in future, whenever he's in the mood to see you, all he has to do is snap his fingers and you'll drop everything. You've also taught him that when you ask a question, you demand an immediate and definite answer.Something else you've taught him is to be more careful about what he says to you. He may be more cautious about exressing that kind of sentiment in the future.If you two spend both days of every weekend together then it isn't accurate to say he doesn't make any effort to see you. He didn't respond to your two texts because, thanks to your over reaction earlier, he was less eager to see you.
A
female
reader, llifton  +, writes (24 June 2011):
 in a relationship, the most important thing you can do, in my opinion, is match up your actions with your words. if someone says they miss me, yet are making absolutely NO effort to see me, i know that what they're saying is just words with no actual meaning.
blow his ass off for a change. i think you should. sometimes immature people need a taste of their own medicine. i don't normally condone that kind of behavior, but sometimes it's necessary.
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A
female
reader, bby23 +, writes (24 June 2011):
I understand how u feel..I've been through a guy like this. The thing is that u can't sit around and wait for his answer, u have to understand that he has a life and u do too. If he really misses u and wants to see u, he will be the one asking u all those questions, the thing is ..don't expect to see him..becus when u expect u become disappointed. Don't make him ur priority when to him ur just an option. Maybe even last option. Don't make urself available for him all the time. You did ur part of the relationship, let him put in some effort of trying to see u, let him ask what u are doin and when he can see u. If he asks u, just be like " I'm kinda busy this week" guys don't like girls who become too clingy or attached. Make him chase u. Hope this helps.
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