A
male
age
36-40,
*ndy00
writes:Why does love feel so far away from me?I think I'm fairly attractive, and I have reason to believe I'm sought after by atleast a couple of young ladies I know. But I've only ever had one girlfriend, in a long distance realtionship that lasted 2 years. That relationship consumed so much of my life. It meant a huge part to me. You might say It was my favourite thing in the world.It's now just over 4 MONTHS since my world turned on it's head. I'm much better than I was.. probably as little as a few weeks ago. Only I still have a lot of feeling, some of which are still very hurt.I guess you could say I still love me ex. But a lot of hurt comes from knowing that I still do, and yet, she is barely interested in even remaining my friend. It makes me wonder just what on earth happened! I suppose what it comes down to is; I thought I meant more to her than I obviously did, because she's been telling me to get over it for months now.Anyway, I'm slowly moving on, but I don't feel any closer to finding the girl of my dreams. I'm beginning to wonder why I expect to as young as I am.. perhapps it's because my first experience of love was so deep and meaningful... who knows.Anyway, why does love feel so distant from me? Love was distant before, but atleast it existed, whereas now, I don't feel it, and I don't know if/when it's going to find me.Sorry to ramble, but any advice you can offer would be great. And I'm sorry if it feels like I've asked this before. I'm on the road to recovery now, I believe, but there are still a few deamons holding me back.Thanks.
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female
reader, Jovial  +, writes (29 October 2007):
 Hi
I am sorry things didn’t work out for you. What I can say is that do not concentrate on the hurtful ways of how your first love ended, concentrate on how much u were able to open your heart and believe in love and for that little moment it did make u happy unfortunately it was just for a limited period of time which none of us has control over. Sometimes love is like a bus ride, u know your destination but the truth is u don’t really know if u will get there on time or ever because so many things can happen on the way, but that doesn’t mean if u encounter an accident u will never ride in a bus again, and that also doesn’t mean if that bus was beyond repair there will never be another bus for u to ride on.
So like a bus ride there will be another girl for u to love, just remember your destination so that u board the right one, what matters is not how many times u get lost but how many times u find your way back. Remember u can be so careful in life but sometimes being so uptight and allowing your past to hold u back can also be the challenge that hinders u from being happy in your life. I know its not easy to move on after loosing the person u thought was the one for u, u need to remember what u thought was not true that’s why it came to an end, be excited that what u might find can be someone who gives back more your ex could.
Listen to your ex advice u really need to get over her, let her go, the fact that she is encouraging u like that it’s the confirmation that she sees u guys as finished. Move on with your life go out with other girls don’t close yourself from new opportunities just because the girl u thought u loved didn’t love u in return. It is part of life I know most of us if not all did feel rejected and used after a painful breakup but we gotta move on.
Jovial.
A
female
reader, Midge +, writes (29 October 2007):
 You are in the same boat as many young people your age. But you hit the nail in the head when you said that you are very young, and because you fealt you had a very deep and meaningful relationship, that is why you are so hurt.
Telling someone just to get over it, is never the thing to say because some people take longer to get over it than others. You say it was a long distance relationship and they can at the best of times be difficult to remain faithful in or interested in. I am not suggesting she wasnt faithful, but perhaps the fact that you didnt spend as much time together as she would have liked, made her less interested in the relationship and therefore, decide to break it off. This happens all to often I'm affraid.
Take as long as you need to get over it 100% before you start on the next relationship. You are so young and deserve so much more than a long distance relationship at your age. Try someone closer to home, but give yourself time to get over it first. My first love and I broke up and it was mutual, but it still took me a year to get over it before I started dating again. It gives the heart time to mend and the brain time to take things in.
Dont be so hard on yourself! Take a little time out!
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