A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I'm engaged to the most wonderful man I've ever met, but no one is taking my relationship seriously. He's 29, living at home working for his parents, and finishing up his bachelors in another year 1/2. I'm in college too, but have another 2 years to finish my B.S. We're waiting until he graduates to get married. I'm tired of people poking fun at our engagement simply because of his status, and financial situation. I've even had someone suggest meeting someone else in school, ie; grad student, medical student, etc. This really hurts, and I don't know what to do. Why does it matter so much how much someone makes or their potential earnings? How important is it to a future marriage?I have no doubt he'll be able to get a good job with his degree, it's just taking him a little longer to achieve his goals. Is this so wrong?
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reader, anonymous, writes (12 June 2012): Move to a country where a persons worth is not linked to a dollar sign.
I'll never get Americans and their fascination with wealth and money. Potential earnings and reaching your full potential and all that crap.
I know it happens in most western nations but your country seems to be obsessed. I was on benefits when I met my girlfriend after years working and losing my job, no one ever judged me, no one ever made comments to her, nobody cared because it's irrelevant to the person that I am.
Why does it hurt and why do you have so many superficial idiots in your life?
I mean seriously OP, you even feel the need to explain this situation to strangers on the internet it bothers you so much.
There are so many more important things in a relationship than earnings aren't there? Don't let it bother you. Or do what my girlfriend would do and tell anyone who speaks that way you're not a prostitute looking to whore yourself to a rich man to pay your way in life. That'll shut them up.
A
female
reader, Sweet-thing  +, writes (12 June 2012):
 It matters only if it matters to you. If it doesn't bother you then ignore their comments. You're both very young, both still in school. There's no rush to "prove yourself" just yet. Give it time. Once you've both graduated, then I'm sure he'll be ready to move out of his parents house and start his career. Until then, just igorne the comments and enjoy this phase of carefree living.
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A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (12 June 2012):
 There is no guarantee that a med student is going to make more than your fiancee. He is living at home so that means he is not in much debt. He is not taking longer, this is just his path. People are rude to poke fun and to suggest you meet someone else. There are always people offering unneeded advice. At the end they don't matter. It is ignorant of people to think that doctors, lawyers and engineers are the only worthy men of marriage. The most important thing is that you make enough for a comfortable living and that you love each other for who you are, and not how much you make.
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A
male
reader, MikeEa1  +, writes (12 June 2012):
 its a symptom of capitalism. a person has to be rich to be worthwhile. I guess a woman needs to know that her man will be able to look after her if she has children. but there's no need to be rich or potentially rich. poor and happy is good too. but much sure he's not lazy as that can be a bit of a relationship killer.
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