A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My school and work schedules are exhausting but my boyfriend is hurt that I don't spend enough time with him. I have classes Tues, Wed, and Thurs. 2.5 hours in the morning and 2.5 hours in the evening. In between I have 3 hours of break in between which I spend with my boyfriend. I work Thurs-Mon 7pm-1am at an incredibly popular and busy cafe. Which means I'm absolutely tired on Thursday and it affects the rest of the week. My sleeping/waking is never consistent and I'm always tired these days. I should study more but I don't have the energy. My bf wants to spend more time with me. We spend time together bewteen and after classes, 3 days a week. Is it enough time together? He wants to take me to a theme park but my schedule doesn't allow it. We just hango ut at school. We could go to the theme park on a weekend morning but I'm so tired. What should we do? He's getting on my nerves but he's getting hurt. Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (12 June 2012):
 If you're working every weekend late hours, and your school is demanding, you might simply not have enough time in your schedule to grow a relationship with a guy. Three hours a couple days a week is pretty restrictive.
HOWEVER, and I'm telling you this from experience, don't even think about backing off of school. If this is how you have to survive, then grit your teeth and finish what you started. I was full time in school and full time at work to pay for school. There were times when it felt like I only had holidays to spend real time with anyone. But I stuck with it, completed my education goals, and it was the best thing I could do.
You're going to have to be honest with him. You're giving all you can, and you can't go any further. If he can't handle it, then maybe it's not the right time in your lives to be together. Seriously, DO NOT QUIT your school over a guy. You'll have no other real time in your life to complete this then now. After marriage and kids and domesticity, it becomes way harder.
If you and your boyfriend are meant to be, then the relationship will survive. If not, then you will find someone who will love you. Guys do it all the time -- they don't commit until they're established in careers and life goals. Don't feel bad. I know you don't want him to be hurt, but being resentful because your grades are suffering and you're burned out is 10x worse.
This won't last forever. But you MUST prioritize school and work. School first, and work is for survival. What if you were away at school? Would he be hurt because you were long distance?
He has a decision to make, but yours is clear. Let nothing and no one stand in the way of your education now. You have your entire life to build a relationship with someone. You do NOT have your entire life for this.
A
female
reader, sweet_lover101  +, writes (12 June 2012):
 Whoah whoah whoah. Sounds like you are a very ambitious and studious person. If your boyfriend really cares about you, he should really understand that this is important to you and give you space. Besides, you both see each other 'between and after classes' I would wonder the same, that is enough! You just need to sit down, and GENTLY tell him, that of course you are in a relationship but it does not mean you have to see each other every single hour! He has to respect that. Summer is nearly coming, use that holiday to make up for the time lost! Exam opportunities only appear rarely, once you mess up, you either have to do it again or live with it. Now a year of schools work ALL WASTED just because of your boyfriend? If he is not willing to respect this, break up with him. It will only continue to frustrate the both of you and it is very unhealthy. Good luck
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 June 2012): I've just been in a similar situation with my boyfriend (now ex); his busy schedule meant that we didnt spend nearly enough time together and he was always exhausted when we did. It was beginning to cause a lot of arguments as I wasn't happy in the relationship, he sussed this out and decided it would be best to end the relationship. It was 3 weeks ago now and looking back I can kind of see why it was for the best, but I was/ am very hurt and cut all contact with him. Now he regrets it. Choose wisely.
...............................
|
