A
female
age
41-50,
*stronautika
writes:Hi,I read a couple of articles from here and I find it nice that they are recent and discussed.Makes me hopeful I will get some on your opinions, as my head is not clear - so it seems.Steady boyfriend, two and half years now.We met at work, then he left for a better job, a year later I followed him, been through ups and downs - serious ones too - then moved in together.I am trying to keep it as short as possible guys, not to bore you with details.He has shown in many occasions hat he cares, really cares for me.Even seems like he takes care of me, like Im some child, which sometimes hinders sex - coz who'd like to have sex with the kid they take care of right.Age has nothing to do with it - we are 1 year apart, almost 30.What troubles me is that I feel he is very into the relationship, his actions seem to prove it.He just won't say it, I love u - he does it, in his words, but he finds it difficult (think impossible obviously) to utter it.And here come the small things that piss me off.Like tonight - I am doing a night shift and he says no problem I will wait for you to come home.We talk online, 10 mins before I go - I ask, are u still awake - he says yes.I come back home, 10 mins later - he is asleep, and goes sth like this - sweeeeeetyy..like u say it when u are snoozing.Which makes me mad, I was 10 mins away and he wouldn't stay.So, here is where u guys find me, an hour later - pouring my heart out, on sad music.I should know better - why does it seem like I am not as loved as he claims.Do u think the words should be said if the feelings are there, as he claims?And why is it that such small things like this one, piss u off so bad - like - why do u never give me flowers, or u forgot the anniversary, or no present for Bday.Why is it that I always ask him to stay a bit longer, or come home earlier, or take a day off so we can be together.Why is it that I am willing to come home for my dinner break in the freezing cold, then go back to work, just to spend 20 mins with him - and he has never ever asked me to stay a bit longer, or come home a day earlier...Am I a fool guys?Because these things make me feel like a fool to be so in love and so honest.Thank you so much :)
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male
reader, Kyle007  +, writes (23 March 2012):
It all boils down to your needs and wants. He is 30 years old and can't tell you he loves you after 2.5 years?
Its not that hard to say.
The real mistake you are making in your posting is calling these things "little things".
Forgotten anniversary, no present for bday are both BIG things!!!
You are not a fool. Love and sex have such an overwhelming affect on our thinking that the smartest and sanest of us all have done otherwise irrational things for the love of another or even the hope of it.
He is the fool, not you. And to answer your other questions, its because you love him more than he loves you. But you know that already.
And this dynamic of him taking care of you like you are a kid has to go.
You probably can't solve this guy. Whatever you are seeking is not with him. And it does not sound like your needs are that unreasonable.
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