A
female
,
anonymous
writes: Can anyone tell me if this guy at work is interested from what I describe of his body language. I know he thinks he is bad looking because he has told me so but I find he has so many other qualities. I feel so at ease and comfortable near him.When I enter his office he always looks welcoming and even if he is pushed for time he always makes time if I really need to ask him something. He can be very bad-tempered to other people but somehow I seem to see through him and he relaxes when I am around. Sometimes he looks into my eyes and when I catch his gaze I have to look away because otherwise I would give too much away. His job does bring him in contact with people a lot and he 'chats up' lots of women, but not in a serious way. He seems a very sexual person and this appeals to me too, but I think he thinks I have a few hang ups in this direction as what you see is not always what you get!His customers are never offended by his jovial inclinations so he is not offensive. He recently went through a bad time and I used to email him with supportive positive comments. He obviously enjoyed them as he recently commented that he missed them, but when I started again he doesn't bother to reply. They are not excessively personal or anything, but now I am having a hard time I feel resentful or more disappointed that I don't appear to be his mind as he was in mine. He has turned down a couple of opportunities to go to meetings with me and his business partner, who I also get on well with (but he is married and happy so there is no jealousy there), seems to always appear concerned whenever I am alone with him for a short period, even though we are only talking business and work issues. When I go into his office each evening to collect his post, he seems to always want to show me something as if he wants me to linger a while, then if anyone else at work catches us together, they always look as if they have interuptted something personal and apologise for disturbing us even though we are only laughing or bantering with each other behind his desk (I mean this is genuinely innocent, we are not and have not done anything beyond this and I am not implying anything personal, though I wish it was!)I am so puzzled by his positive warm body language, yet confused by his lack of response in other ways. Fellas out there, I am consiered to be quite an intuitive sensitive person myself, but my body says yes and my brain says no in this case. I have not been able to stop thinking about him for a year as we were both in other relationships that were coming to an end, but now he talks as if he is desperate to find anyone who will have him TO ME and others at work, he makes no secret of it. He is very up front about his feelings, but could he be covering up any stronger feelings for me, or could I be just seeing what I want to see because of my own ... and iis it infatuation or obsession after a year of not sleeping becasue I want to be with him, and feeling miserable becasue I cannot spend more time with him... and why would he avoid going anywhere alone with me ... or is that my imagination?
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female
reader, beenthere +, writes (8 November 2005):
he could be trying to cover up feelings. if you have both recently come out of other relationships, he may not be ready for a new one. he took comfort from you. he could be biding his time or he may just not feel comfortable with the thought of a relationship with a work colleague. be upfront with him if you can. ask him if he'll do something outside of work, as friends. make it clear that it's not a date. see what happens
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