A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend I've been seeing for two years says he only wants to meet up every two weeks instead of every week and that doesn't work for me he also seems to want sex every time we meet up several times a night and day. He doesn't seem keen on getting a place together either.I'm really looking to settle down in a place together and until then go out every week. Should I end seeing him? I do love him and miss him and have travelled with him many times. He says he loves me so why would he want to see me less? But I'm not sure I can cope with seeing him once a fortnight I don't feel connected like that and in a relationship. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 May 2023): OP -He says he wants free time to himself which means going out with his brother and I don't know who else. I don't find that acceptable because if I said I want time to myself when he wants to see me he wouldn't like it
A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (1 May 2023):
 OP, are you sure you are the only woman he is seeing?
Secondly, if you want to settle down HE isn't it.
Lastly, why have you not asked him directly why he wants to see you less?
I'd like to hear his excuse... I mean reasoning...
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 April 2023): I'm confused by the woman who said you can't expect a man to do what you want and hang around. Why is it ok for him to expect me to meet up every two weeks and hang around for him then? I'm not intense or full on just like a relationship every week with my partner?
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A
female
reader, Youcannotbeserious +, writes (29 April 2023):
 He might SAY he loves you but his actions don't back up his words. Seeing you less frequently rather than more would seem to indicate either (a) he is tiring of you but hasn't got the decency to end the relationship, so is distancing himself slowly, hoping YOU will end it, or (b) you are just the side chick and his wife/main girlfriend is getting suspicious.
Regardless of what his reasons are, you two are not on the same page. You want very different things. There is nothing wrong with what HE wants and certainly nothing wrong with what YOU would like. What IS wrong is that you don't both want the same thing. If you really want to settle down - and why wouldn't you? - you need to find yourself someone who is on the same page. You don't deserve to be messed around.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 April 2023): He only wants you for sex. He does not want commitment, promises, a future, something serious. His attitude and actions make this clear. Some men say I love you just to shut you up if you are questioning them or nagging. The honest answer might be more like I quite enjoy being with you and having sex. Totally different. You sound very full on and intense and that would put a lot of men off. You cannot snare a man and tell him that he must do what you want and expect him to hang around to suit your wishes.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 April 2023): I think you need to sitdown with your mate and find-out if he still wants to be in a relationship. This is going to be a difficult thing to do; and you have to be ready for an honest answer. Don't go in emotional or be manipulative to force him to tell you what you want to hear. If he tells you he wants out, let him go.
Here's a little advice. Sometimes people feel smothered, or pressured to commit into marriage. If he senses you want to move-in together; or thinks you're pressuring him to be in a tighter commitment, he may be pulling away. You want to be closer, and he seems to be distancing himself. I think you should take a hint here.
The only one who can truly answer your question is your boyfriend; and you will have to be able to accept an answer that you don't like.
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