A
female
age
41-50,
*nowey55
writes:Hi,I was always under the impression if a guy spends his money on you then his investing in a future. My boyfriend of 8.5 months is very generous books lovely holidays, hotels, takes me out to dinner etc but still hasn't said he loves me. His even booked a holiday with his family for January. We had a talk in june and he said he had feelings but it wasn't love and couldn't tell me how he would ever feel. So why is he spending? He earns a regular wage so he isn't rich.What do u think? Does he feel guilty for not loving me? Just a General overview or experiences would be great. Xxx
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female
reader, Abella  +, writes (11 August 2012):
 He certainly enjoys your company. And he is proud enough of you to share his time with you and his family there as well.
Perhaps he is not sure what love is. But from everything he is doing he most definitely does enjoy yuour company.
Some men have trouble revealing their feelings. So they try to show you by their actions.
Some men just want a companion. Expensive way to do it though if he only wants company.
And some guys just like throwing money around as it makes them feel like a 'bigger' man - it is an inadequacy/insecurity thing. So be careful of such types who over-spend as a day of reackoning will happen if a guy consistently outspends his income.
I tend to believe that he is so comfortable with you that he does actually like you a lot. But he is still dipping his toe in the water before he finally revealing that he loves you and wants something more permanent.
If he keeps this up for another 18 months, but makes no moves to say he loves you, then I would question the relationship. And If he is still commitment phobic as well in 18 months time I think I would call it quits.
From observation I have often noticed that guys DO know when a girl is the 'ONE' and that they become increasingly interested in making it official (by getting engaged/wanting to set the marriage date) by the first anniversary.
If after two years your guy still has not reached that stage of wanting to make the relationship more permanent and nor can he say 'I love you' in 18 months time then I would call it quits, and leave him to find his 'ONE'
If that occurs i would suggest that you start dating again.
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