A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Right, first things first i love my boyfriend very very much and were about to celebrate our 2 yr anniversary however..He is so selfish and whenever i bring this up he loses it and has a go at me making me feel small and in the wrong. For instance, HE was taking ME out, but we ended up going halfs because he said he was skint. Another time i offered to take him for a light lunch (i warned him it would only be a sandwich as i had only £20 and did not get paid until the following day) he said no, but later asked me to take him for dinner and when i said i could not afford he said im a liar and i mislead him intentionally?Secondly, he is too skint for myself and him to go out clubbing but he is NEVER too skint to go out with his friends :(WHAT TO DO? Help!
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anniversary, clubbing, liar, money Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, LazyGuy  +, writes (8 May 2009):
 He is a thight fisted asshole whole thinks he can jerk you around. Up to you wether he is right or wrong.
A
female
reader, DrPsych +, writes (8 May 2009):
 You ask what to do? The answer is quite simple...stop being his cheque book. Stop paying for anything and everything just to please him. I am all for going half in dating, but if he is free-loading off you and being that selfish then it is a huge problem. It is not that he is tight with money as such, but if he is calling you a liar for not spending your last penny on him it is a sign that he is very manipulative. When you challenge him about money he turns things around to make you look bad. You sound too nice for him to be honest and he certainly doesn't love you. In a healthy relationship both of you should pay and there shouldn't be an issue over finance - if there is a big problem with him and money now, where is this relationship heading exactly? You cannot buy a house with a man who won't pay his way, what happens if you get pregnant? If you are not ready to leave him, just shut that zip on your purse...you need to have a talk with him and explain that you are not prepared to be taken for a mug. If you stop being so generous, see how long he sticks around for you and not your money.
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A
female
reader, kellyO +, writes (8 May 2009):
 Hi,
I agree with you that he is being selfish. But to find the reason why you have to answer the following questions for yourself.
What exactly does your boyfriend do? Is he being paid alot?How does that compare with what you earn? Have you told him exactly how much you are being paid? Do he have alot of other family responsibility that takes up his money?
You said in your last line he goes clubbing with friends but i honestly believe is most likely his friends are paying the bills...
You say you love him which is ok but if i were you i wouldnt give him any money and rarely take him out for lunch. you should ask him to take him out not the other way.See what happens.
Hugs
Kelly
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A
female
reader, kellyxxx +, writes (8 May 2009):
 He sounds like he is sponging off you! You need to tell him to step up and be a man! He needs to be a gentleman and take care of you! Tell him that it would be a nice change if he took you somewhere once in a while. If he doesn't change then don't spend any money on him, don't ask him to go out anywhere and don't see him! He'll change his ways as soon as he realises he's not going to get a free ride any time! X
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