A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:hi :)I dont have a major problem but just need some general advice.So iv been going out with a guy for about 3 weeks and we havent had sex yet.we both would like to wait a little until we know each other better.But whenever we cuddle or spoon, he gets an erection. And he sort of pulls away.I don't want him to be embarrassed but don't really know what to do either.any advice please?xx.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 August 2011): Even though you don't want him to be embarrassed, he probably is. My guess is that since you have talked about waiting for sex, he is afraid that you feeling his erection will feel like he is pressuring you, even if that isn't the case. OR he is embarrassed that he is getting one that easily. Next time it happens I would suggest acknowledging it rather than ignoring it. Maybe smile, rub his arm or something, just so he knows it is ok. If his erection doesn't bother you, let him know! That way I think you'll be more comfortable with one another.
A
female
reader, sammy1986 +, writes (21 August 2011):
Hi he may do this as he may think you will be embarassed or maybe he doesn't want to think he is doing it on purpose so you have sex with him I would just pretend you haven't noticed or if you do feel ready to have sex with him at any time when he gets a erection and you can feel it just push back against him a bit he will get the message good luck
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 August 2011): He's probably frustrated more than anything - maybe he moves away so you don't 'feel' that he wants you - to save you embarassment.
Just make a joke of it, have a laugh.Defuse the moment - without making him feel uncomfortable or wrong
And yes your right to wait.
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A
female
reader, kellyO +, writes (21 August 2011):
 Dear Anom,
If you both havent had sex before then he is probably nervous/scared. This is something you can talk to him about.
I think the decision that you wait a little is the best one and a wise on for both of you. Focusing on other things should be both of your priorities like getting to know each other better. However if you two should get around doing this please ensure that you take the appropriate precaution as the consequences may change your lives.
All the best
KellyO
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