A
female
age
36-40,
*ellasmommy
writes:My boyfriend always masturbates and lies about it (because he knows it upsets me that he does it in the first place, but my question is.. why does he masturbate in the first place!? especially since i am ready and willing at any moment!! is it because looking at porn and jackin is almost like havin sex with the woman he masturbates to!? lol get it?
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (5 August 2008): I agree with Mark25 its a way of life and I know my wife masturbates and I do the same,you should try it your self it may help you be able to tell him how you like to be touched and what makes you hotter and orgasm, even masturbating each other is a great lead up or even substitute for penitration, also he may feel you may not be wanting sex as much as you say or he may want it more than you do, I know i feel this way sometimes, because he loves you he may feel hes pressuring you to have sex when he wants.
Talk to each other, but don't make him feel guilty about it, as it can cause problems sexually later in your relationship.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 July 2008): You have received lots of good answeres from "uncles" and "aunts";
There are people who have issues with mastrubation; often it is psycological and due to background and upbringing; where the parents might have told the child don't do this or that; don't touch; don't play with yourself; it then becomes a very deep rooted issues and creates feelings of quilt and all sort against mastrubation.
I just would like to know; do you mastrubate? Do you have some deep rooted issues with mastrubation? Do you consider it wrong? Is there any reason; maybe from childhood that you might be suprressing, regarding mastrubation?
Best wishes and lots of SMILES.
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A
male
reader, Mark25  +, writes (26 July 2008):
 I've never understood why women have a problem with the whole wanking thing. Women do it as well but you never hear men asking why? Men wank. End of story. They always have done and they always will. Whether they are in a committed relationship or not, wanking is a part of their life. You will never stop a man doing it and it's wrong of you to try and make him feel guilty into stopping. Sex and wanking is two different things. When he has sex with you it's about making love. When he's cracking one off it's just for pleasure and a quick release. That's all. It's not like having sex with the women he's looking at. Men are visual creatures. It's easier for a man to orgasm when looking at something rather than just thinking about it. He's just helping himself along. And how do you know that when he is fantasising that he isn't fantasising about you?
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A
female
reader, lexilou +, writes (26 July 2008):
 Its normal to masterbate but by telling him you have issues about it is making him lie and be secretive. Accept that it is normal. If he stops having sex and only masterbates then worry but its normal to do both. Dont you masterbate!!??
i've been doing since I was a little girl. We have a very active sex life together but both masterbate alone and also sometimes together. Try introducing it into the bedroom together and see if you can get over this hang up x
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A
female
reader, deejuliet +, writes (26 July 2008):
 Sex is about connecting with someone you love. Masterbation is about orgasm and self pleasure. He may be able to have sex with you any time he wants, but he does not want to treat you as a blow up doll. Sometimes a guy just needs to have an orgasm. Do not worry about the fact that he jerks off. Pretty much every guy will at least occasionally jerk off even when in a steady relationship, especially someone so young when the sex drive is so strong.
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A
male
reader, derg  +, writes (26 July 2008):
males can grow into a routine of jerking off because it has happend all through life what u need to do is pull him out of this routine and include urself into it making his need to jerk off non existant and bringing the two of you closer together in an act of love
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A
male
reader, Arthur Fonzerilli +, writes (26 July 2008):
Do you really love him? Make it so that he doesn't need the porn anymore. Dress real sexy in front of him. (him only) and try to seduce him. Tell him he's sexy. Tell him that he drives you crazy, that you want him so much you can't take it. Tease him alot. Tell him to ravish you that you desperately want him and can't take it anymore. Say that's he's the sexiest man alive pretend that he is the only man in the world. Make love to him like you never did before ravish him. Role play with him sometimes and also be spontaneous. You may even get to the point that sometimes he will masterbate in front of you only and it will be ok with you. Or you masterbate him sometimes while he looks at you! You will become the replacement of porn. He will not want porn anymore because he has REAL thing in reality. Porn is nothing compared to reality a real woman. Maybe if you want to.. watch porn with him and tease him and say that you want to do all those things with him role play like you're in a porn movie. Hardcore porn is really empty sex the real thing is much better because it is real. Also he may masterbate because his sex drive is more than yours and if you make love with him more often he may not need to.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 July 2008): For some guys the act of sex can be more about trying to please the partner and less about personal pleasure. There is a pressure to perform that is just not there when masturbating. If this is the case then I would suggest you take control sometimes and tell him to relax and enjoy.
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A
male
reader, LazyGuy  +, writes (26 July 2008):
 No, whacking off is NOTHING like masturbating. That might be the entire problem.
When whacking off he never takes to long or comes to fast. The hardness of the erection doesn't matter, he doesn't need to keep his weight of anyone, or remember her name.
There are so many possible reasons it is pointless to list them all.
How is his general behavior towards you? Romantic gestures, talking, touching, just being in the same room together etc etc.
To rattle of a list: Performance anxiety, sex being to much effort, resentment/hating you, not aware you are available at any moment, porn habbit, are just a few and of course it might be any combination of them.
But unless you are amazingly bad at it, sex with a woman is way better then masturbation. Just also a lot more trouble.
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A
female
reader, BethyBoo +, writes (26 July 2008):
 no matter how much sex a guy gets, hes gonna wank. no matter what you say sweety. just let him do his own thing. if he wants to wank, he'll wank. with or without your 'permission' if you know what i mean. if he want sex then thats great and if he wants to masturbate by himself then let him masturbate. lol.
B -x-
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (26 July 2008): look a lot of guys are like that. to some guys the daily jerk is just part of a routine that gets set into our heads. now i would be worried if he is showing no interest in you at all and is still doing it. atleast thats my opinion
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