A
female
age
36-40,
*exy-mama
writes:[Moderator's note: Please concentrate all the details in one question next time. It is harder to give accurate opinions on pieces of a fragmented question.]Help my mother is making me insecure. My mom doesn't like my boyfriend and she always says he will just use me. She tells me that if I have sex with him that he will just leave me. Then she says that he is going to marry me so I can put him through school. I know I could help his out a lot financially when I am finished with school. He is divorced and has two kids to support. I am just scared that my mom is right. What if he does just use? How can I tell if it is love or just convient for him?-----Added from the same userI've been dating this guy and we are good friends. It is long distance and I know he has been dating someone else. He hasn't said anything about her, but it's not hard to figure out. He was dating her before he met me and then broke up with her when he moved to the town I am living in. Then we met and went on a date, but he had to move back home. He got back together with this girl, but he would still call and text me. Every time he thinks he is going to move here he breaks up with his girlfriend and calls me all the time, but when it doesn't work out he always goes back to this girl. I have never been in a relationship with this guy and am not upset about that he is dating someone. I just don't understand why he wouldn't tell me. Also, why does he keep going back and forth and not just choose one of us? I don't think he is that happy with her if he was calling me so much when they were together and just breaks up with her like that. I think this guy must like me because he had me go meet his family, and we have only gone out like twice. Even though I hardly see him we do talk all the time, but why wouldn't he ask me to be in a relationship with him? W------------This guy I am really good friends with is going back and forth between me and his girlfriend. Him and his girlfriend live in the same town, and I live about two hours away. I don't mind that he is dating someone, but why wouldn't he tell me about her? Also he breaks up with his girlfriend whenever he is going to move to the town I live in, but both times has had to move back home. Once he lost his job and the other time the guy he was going to move in with went to jail. He tells me he loves me and calls me all the time, but then he flakes out a lot when we are supposed to hang out. We have never been in a relationship, but we didn't make out once. He wasn't going with his girlfriend at the time. He had me meet his family and I have only hung out with him twice. When I am with him he acts like he doesn't want me to leave and when I talk to him he usually is the one who makes plans to hang out. I don't understand why he wouldn't ask me to be in a relationship? I know it would be long distance, but it is only two hours. Do you think that the problem is the distance or does he want his girlfriend? Also why would he be calling me all the time if he wants his girlfriend? Does he just want her because she lives close and it is convient?
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female
reader, aphexinfinite  +, writes (30 May 2009):
 i think he has figured out that no matter what goes on in his life your their to pick the pieces up. at the moment he cant be with you so may as well be with my old girlfriend. he seems like a person who would use people and only others would see this you seem to be making so much out of this and you only went out twice i have to say im with your mum on this. i dont see how you want a guy thats with a girl if he was that into you he would be single and not sleeping with someone else. go live your own life get your education in what ever job you want to do and then think about someone but as for him. ide leave the baggage were it belongs and walk in the other direction. well thats my thoughts on the matter. aphex good luck xx
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