A
female
age
,
*usttellmewhy
writes:I will be forever indebted for a male/female perspective on this. I'm a 44 year old woman, the man i date is 48. He's in the Navy and nearing retirement. We met 5 months ago..neither of us knew what we were looking for. I've been divorced one year, him 10 years. The first night we met he was 1/2 hour late. I left the restaurant before he arrived but bumped into him on the street and had to get to know him. He's highly educated, extremely good looking, commands attention from both sexes and is loved by everyone...no exaggeration! His schedule is tight so we see each other about once a week. We hardly call each other but text often which has worked for us in the past. There are many concerns about our relationship but my main concern is why does he drag me along. We have no real commitment but certainly are apart of each others lives. Lately, when i text him he doesn't reply. As soon as i pull back a little, he texts me and reels me back in. Why do men do this and why do I keep going back? HELP!
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female
reader, QuirkLady +, writes (29 May 2009):
 He strings you along because you let him.
You keep going back because you think he's going to change.
If you want a real relationship you have to put your foot down and say so. That runs a real risk of him deciding not to be with you though. Only you can decide whether you're happy with a once a week deal or a full fledged relationship.
Good luck.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 May 2009): He may be seeing a number of women, dating them and getting to know them slowly. I dated an older gentleman that did this and it dragged on for about a year before we got serious. I dated other guys in the meantime and I prefer to take things slow too so it worked.
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