A
female
 ,
anonymous
writes:I almost started a relationship with a guy I worked with through volunteer work. I found out he was married and stopped things in their tracks. I still see him at the volunteer meetings. It seems I cannot win with him. He told me he wanted to speak with me at the last meeting and I, like a naive person agreed to it and then he brought up the situation again and wrecked my day and I went home in tears. It would be my guess that he is worried that his wife will find out... I have no intentions of telling her and am considering leaving this committee all together because I am tired of this. He is a hypocrite...wants to look good to the outside world but really has no concern who he hurts to get his needs met. I am a pretty nice person and wonder why he delights in baiting me and wonder if leaving this volunteer group is my only option. Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, MissWendlemoot  +, writes (8 June 2008):
 You may be a nice person but someone who cheats on their wife isn't nice.
He baits you because he likes the ego stroke and attention.
Just ignore him. He's inconsequential.
xo
A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (8 June 2008):
 It is better to run away than fight with the devil.
There are other volunteer organizations you can join.
If you stay , you will be continually subjected to his
bombardments and may weaken your resolve.
I will choose the flee options.
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A
female
reader, pashanoodle +, writes (8 June 2008):
 Firstly - good on you girl!! It is refreshing to read of someone who is NOT going to pursue a relationship with a married man despite having feelings for him initially!! There seem to be an awful lot of people out there who don;t see a wedding band as an obsticle...including your colleague it seems.
I don;t think it is fair that you should have to give up your committee, particularly when you are the one 'in the right' in this situation....but if it is going to cause you unnecessary stress to be around him and because he obviously lacks insight into his behaviour...then I would consider it. I'm sure there are other, similar places you could volunteer at.
If you persevere...DO NOT enter into any situation where you are alone with him - just treat him with polite indifference and he will soon stop trying to manipulate you, hopefully. Don't give him anymore opportunity to get you upset. He is "baiting" you for your reaction...if you keep giving him one he will keep doing it - it's just like kids in the playground....so - chin up, no reaction, smile and ignore him as much as you can...maybe he'll crawl back into the hole he came from??
If not...get away from him, you do sound like a nice person and you don;t need this crap!
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