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Why does he ask who I'm with/tell me who hes with? Why did he tell me he posted an ad? Why is he this way? Is he too comfy?

Tagged as: Online dating<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (25 May 2010) 4 Answers - (Newest, 25 May 2010)
A female United States age 41-50, *ixieGwen writes:

a cpl of weeks ago i met this guy from online, he had responded to an ad i had.Seems we hit it off after meeting cos we hung out again and he made me dinner/watched a movie.He still sends txts seein what I'm upto etc.Recently I got a movie that he had wanted to see (was supposed to have it with me the last time we hung out but I didnt). He had asked me today if I had seen it, which I had not and hasnt seen it either.So I wasnt sure if that was a hint or not but I asked if he'd like to get together to watch it, he agreed and then suggested we have dinner/snacks aswell. but early on in our convo(way before plans) he randomly tells me that some couple wrote him asking him to participate in a 3some (he made it seem like he was shocked/thought it was funny).I said weird yet gross and then I asked if he has a personal ad up and he says "yes".I wasnt sure what to say so I jokingly said "Well now I wonder wtf u had in your ad, to get a response like that lol..hey if thats what youre into, whatevers clever" to be honest I was annoyed that he threw that out there.Yes, we met through a personal ad I posted and yes he had one up at that time we met but why would he tell me about this random email he got etc.Plus when we talk he tells me who hes hanging out w/ or asks me who im with (IE he'll say "im out grabbin grub with a chick friend" or " are you with your cuz, or cuz and more?").He's asked me qs as to what my turn ons/turn offs in a guy and told me he has this and that (in my list of likes) and that he likes my lips and yet hasnt tried to kiss me.I feel like I get mixed signals. does he want me to be jealous or be friendly? what the hell?

View related questions: jealous, threesome

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A female reader, PixieGwen United States +, writes (25 May 2010):

PixieGwen is verified as being by the original poster of the question

PixieGwen agony aunti guess i shouldve clarified more.. in regards to his ad.. its a personal ad - as in just dating.. and the response he got was sexual..but he seemed to be in shock and think the response was funny.i was just being sarcastic with him when i said "hey whatever youre into" just because i didnt know what the hell to say...mainly cause i was confused as to why he told me about his random email. i do agree that he prob needs to grow up. hes older than me by a cpl of years..but maybe thats the issue and he probably is just lookin to hang out or sex.. although i dont get the just sex vibe from him..mainly because hes not even remotely sexual with me..a lil flirting but not much.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (25 May 2010):

To be honest, I think the main problem with this guy is that he isn't fully grown up yet. I know it sounds weird for people who are 20+ but it happens a lot. Specially with guys!

He might be a good bloke in heart but I think "sex" is still too much on his mind. He might be trying to avoid it but his hormones prevent it. Most of them (us, since I'm a 33 yo guy myself) grow out of it eventually, but not all.

On the other hand he might consciously be looking for sexual contact. Personally I would wait and see how it evolves. If he starts making more and more sexual comments, hinting towards pure sexual contact then it is a good hint of his intentions.

It also depends on what you are looking for yourself, but I doubt that the guy is looking for a steady relationship.

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A female reader, PixieGwen United States +, writes (25 May 2010):

PixieGwen is verified as being by the original poster of the question

PixieGwen agony aunthah i know i need to relax. i think about everything..

its fine to be dating people.. i just dont wanna hear about it i guess? like i personally wouldnt share w/ him about who im dating..or responses that i get because of a personal ad i posted.

thanks for respondin though..:)

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A female reader, eyeswideopen United States +, writes (25 May 2010):

eyeswideopen agony auntIt's too early in your relationship to be stressing over all this. Just relax and get to know him better. Great relationships take time to develop. Jealousy is the last thing you should be feeling at this point. Be yourself, if the relationship flourishes, wonderful, but if it doesn't then at least it was based on honesty. Best of luck.

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