A
female
age
36-40,
*oveNbasketball
writes:I'm in a relationship right now (7 months to be exact) and he's a great guy. However, he acts really childish sometimes, and I don't mean immature as in farting in front of me or making lame jokes. He acts very "high school/puppy love" (no offense!), always asking me to call him every night (even when I'm busy) and when I don't he makes a big scene and questions the validity of my feelings. As well, he'll blow things out of proportion - example: if I don't like a song he sent me, he'll think he's a failure at the relationship. And if I don't perform public displays of affection (like holding hands) he'll think that I'm avoiding him or that I don't want to be with him anymore.I've reassured him countless times (believe me!) that my feelings have changed. I don't mind calling him, but it's the way he reacts to the things I do. Or don't do. Please, please someone tell me what to do to help him leave these habits behind.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 August 2007): You may be able to deal with his slightly more volatile personality if you resolve to be a little more stoic. Think back - in these instances where he gets too theatrical, or blows something out of proportion, how long does it ever last? If his reaction is always over the top but short (to the point where he's mellow again the next time you speak but YOU'RE still reeling) you may need to just use your foresight, push through it, and remember that things will be back to normal by the next time you call. It sounds like he might just be the histrionic type.
If he really reads into all these little "slights" and clings to them, however, he is a pretty insecure person. That takes much longer to work through. Be yourself and be stable, and eventually he'll see that you aren't about to take off. It may take him longer than you to form a feeling of safety with a new partner, so try and guide him through it.
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