A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I'm 15 and I have absolutely never had a girl friend. I am 6'0, 190 pounds and I'm not that attractive. I'm in love with my best friend and me and her are really close, she tells me everything. We're always on the phone and always together. She knows I love her and told me that I'm not her type and that she can't go out with fat dudes! Now I want to be with her so bad but there is a part of me that wants to just stop being her friend so that way I'll stop hurting. I always have to see her with her new boyfriends and she always talks about these other dudes and how they are so sexy and sh*t and I just take it in. I play with her and call her my boo and sh*t and tell her I love her everyday and when she does stuff with boys like let them hold her and sh*t and I say well can I she'll be like no and I just don't know what to do, I want and need her in my life but I just don't want to hurt her anymore so if anybody got any suggestions please help.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 August 2007): I agree with DV. As sad as it may sound, people can be very superficial (that's bad). So don't look at from that perspective. But look at it this way. Being over weight often has many negative connotations. "You don't 'care' about how you look." "You don't take care of yourself." And what it all boils down to is that, generally, people are attracted to and love those who love themselves.
So start loving yourself a little more. And one way that you can show that is by taking better care of yourself. Follow DV's advice, and use the energy you are expending on her, on yourself instead, and try shedding those pounds and working out. You could join a sports team, even. But, above all, do that for your health. Showing that you care about your health shows that you love yourself.
And it doesn't all have to be about working out. Make yourself more interesting in other ways. Join a club. Start playing guitar. (women loooove musicians).
But DO start taking better care of yourself, physically and intellectually. Once you do, people, including her, will see that you love yourself, and in turn, they WILL love you back.
A
male
reader, DV1 +, writes (11 August 2007):
 I've given the same advice I've given to you. It may sound harsh, but it's worked many a time. Take the fat that you have, and turn it into muscle. Stop picking up the phone every time she calls. Stop spending time on her, and invest that time into turning yourself into a 6 foot brick wall. Use the emotion you feel for lifting, running, and doing different types of cardio, like boxing, martial arts, ect. A few months down the line, you'll be ripped. You'll be stronger, faster, better, more powerful, and you'll have confidence out the wazoo!! A few months down the road, you'll have beautiful ladies flocking all over you. She'll see this, and try and come up to you, and you can tell her that you don't date little girls... If all she sees you as is this fat kid that she knows, don't waste time on her.
DV1
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