A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Okay so recently me and this girl started dating. we hit it off straight away and its been like 4 or 5 months now. Lately however Ive started to notice a couple of things i dont know what to do about. she'll go out and then purposely send me texts or call and stuff to saw or hint that shes with a couple guys on her own or that shes alone with some other dude. I know she has alot of guy friends and I trust her completely just Im getting bothered by it. especially when sometimes i get texts like "im having sex with ur gf, she so hot". she says her friends took her phone and did it but sometimes i think she just does it for fun.Also there are sometimes when she seems to lie to me for now reason. like she will say she did this and that but when i follow up or check its never true. I love this girl but talking about it never seems to work as it always seems to be ending up apologizing. any help?
View related questions:
text Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 July 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questioni just wrote something in but it doesnt seem to have come up :S
anyway. thanks alot guys for your help on this. I guess ive been naive about the whole thing. the things stopping me from jsut dumping her like you said is that the time we do spend together are really amazing and theres never anywhere else id rather be. I know she loves me (me being naive maybe) but shes said it and i beleive it. Ive always never been that good with girls, always the friend and so on (u know the story) and then she came along. Shes like a 9/10 where as im a 4 or 5 and im still amazed she wants to be with me compared to what she could get. Im the nice guy type so u can see how im so suprised. anyway thanks for ur answers guys ill think about it.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 July 2011): She needs professional help and you need a new gf.
...............................
A
male
reader, Dodds  +, writes (2 July 2011):
 sorry for all that,just relax and take it easyi can only think of two reasons off the top of my head as to why she is acting as so1:-shes testing you to get a reaction out of you and get some form of validation in the process2:-she wants out of the relationship but wants it to be your idea to do the break up leaving her guilt freewhat you should do the next time she talks about hanging out with some other dude is to tell her to have fun with a tone of total indifference at the same time you go hang out n vibe with some other chicks(its alot of psycological stuff too long to adequately explain)this basicaly communicates to her that she needs to respect you or she stands to lose you!!as for the random bouts of lying,you need to draw the line somewhere and demonstrate to her that you are willing to walk away from her if she doesnt style uppersonaly,i have a set of standards that i expect the women i date to meet like honesty,taking care of her self and living healthy,non-drinker(maybe only on social occasions),loyalty,passionate about life,ambitious etc etcand not meeting up with most of these standards are reason enough for me to leave a womanso bottom line,you 'HAVE' to value yourself and have standards by which the women you decide to date 'MUST' meet...
...............................
A
male
reader, Partyboy123  +, writes (2 July 2011):
 Hey,
she is manipulating you when you say you "talk" about it with her and you end up apologizing. She is LYING to you, that is a sign of unloyalty, thus, how can you trust her at all? if she lies about some things, how do you know she isn't lying about others? you say you love her, but really, do you know who she is and lover her if she is lying to your face?
your trust issues are quite justifiable in my eyes. My ex girlfriend did the same thing, told me she didn't drink at parties, and that they didn't dance at parties, then at a party she texted me and i asked if she danced she said not tonight, the music sucks, i said "you told me they didn't dance and stuff", she said "we dont", meanwhile, the next day at a party i asked, she said "yea i danced with some girls"... my B.S detector went wild... and she always told me half truths about why she couldn't hangout with me..therefore, when we would talk about things, she would get all mad and it would be me apologizing to her for being mad and stuff, and when she said i didn't trust her, she was right, how could i trust a liar?
seriously man, i have been down this road, the relationship lasted 5 months because i gave her too many chances... then i dumped her...
you don't need to put up with this manipulative shit, being lied to, F*** that man, you deserve more than that.
with my ex-gf, i was the girl, i worried all the time, i got jealous, i got nervous about things i said, i was her doormat, she walked all over me.. but then after 5 months of the same B.S, i finally told her where to go, i kicked her to the curb, and DAMN did it feel good.
and don't get me wrong, i was in love with my girlfriend too, for all the wrong reasons.
hope i helped man.
...............................
|
