A
male
age
41-50,
*ruce lee
writes:Hi guys. I would like to know why everyone naturally assumes that when you reach a certain age, you want to have kids. And if you politely say that you don't, they think there is something wrong with you. What's wrong with not wanting kids? The world's population is not going to die out. It's on the rise.Once I went to a dating service, and the woman there who ripped me off, asked if I planned to start a family.And I said "Probably not."And she looked horrified. Don't you think that's really weird?I don't have anything against other people starting a family. But I'd prefer it if my parents and everyone else just accepted my decision and stopped "offering" their advice to me. Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (8 June 2013):
 "What's wrong with not wanting kids? The world's population is not going to die out. It's on the rise."
Because it goes against the animal instinct to procreate. We're animals after all. Not rational, logical, super beings without hormones. Logically there is no point in having more children, if the state will take care of you in old age, or if you intent to die before you get old and gray and would need assistance. No, the population isn't going under, but if you don't have any children your "blood-line", if you would call it that, could be extinct. And if it's something we know humans love, it's keeping their blood-lines in check. Take any kingdom for instance. Or marriages, especially the arranged ones. Or just the inheritance your parents will leave you. Why not give it all to complete strangers? Why give it to your children, if making sure your offspring will live another day ISN'T what is of most importance to most?
It goes against a very basic instinct. That's why people think it's weird. It's not unheard of, but it is unusual. And people who feel the drive to have children will not understand your lack of this drive.
Be firm. Tell people to back off once and for all. Be rude if you have to. People in general have this idea that they should somehow be allowed an opinion on how others lead their lives. Believe me I know, I had to listen to my friends and family comment on it each and every single time when I was dating my boyfriend (we used an unusual amount of time to just date and see where it was going). It wasn't going according to what THEY thought a normal speed, hence it must be wrong, and hence I was told constantly to leave him. So I know what a drag it is to have people always comment on your choices and trying to make you do something other than what you want. I guess they can't help themselves. I had to be extremely strict, and told my best friend off. I told her very clearly that I wouldn't hear another word from her about it, and if she ever dared to call him my "fuck friend" (rather than address him as the boy I was dating) that I would leave. I wouldn't want to hang out with her if she didn't stop. So be firm. LEAVE if they don't shut up about it.
A
female
reader, NORA B  +, writes (8 June 2013):
I had to smile with complete understanding because i remember women friends and myself were asked. No 1.Do you have boyfriend.2,When are you getting married.3 When married -how many children are you going to have.Then when you have boy-when are you going to have a girl.After that no point in just having 2 as they will get spoilt.its endless endless.Well done you if you dont wish to have a family that is your choice Besr Wishes Nora B.
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