A
female
age
30-35,
*heDogYrs
writes:Okay, so im a virgin. When I first meet people, sadly, that's one of the first things they ask me. I usedto be honest and tell them I was a virgin, but its like once I tell them, their impression of me changes. Either they'll be like, "Your scared?", "Why not?" or, "Good, keep your legs closed." Which is my least favorite because most of the people who tell me to, "Keep my legs closed", have already done it and are still doing it. To me, the main reason they are telling me what to do is because they just don't want me to do it. Most of the people telling me this are either some of my older guy frieds(who kind of look at my like a little sister in a sense I guess) or my brother(who has had sex and still is haveing sex), Or some of my girlfriends who have also already done it. Honestly, it annoys me when people say, "Keep your legs closed." To me actions speak louder than words, so why give me advice when you can't give yourself advice? And Im sure some of them have good intensions, but im not an idiot, and I dont wanna keep being reminded about how I should run my life. Before I got to higschool, I liked being a virgin. Now I just wanna get rid of it. I dont know if it's the temptation or because of my friends annoying advice or because I lost the only boy I ever loved. I think it's a little bit of both. I feel like I want to and I feel I might be ready. But I dont wanna be stupid about it. I want to give myself to a guy who is going to take care of me, respect and love me. But the only guy I ever loved is not around(thats another story). And I feel like I keep looking for a new one but I have no luck. And ever since all the so called advice and the feelings, I really wanna lose my virginity. But like I said, I dont wanna be stupid about it. I need some advice please!! Any takers?? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, :)31215  +, writes (10 January 2011):
 Just saw I wrote 180 accidentally. She's 18 :)
A
female
reader, TheDogYrs +, writes (4 January 2011):
TheDogYrs is verified as being by the original poster of the questionOne more thing.. Im 15
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A
female
reader, TheDogYrs +, writes (3 January 2011):
TheDogYrs is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThankyou all soo much! :)
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A
female
reader, TheDogYrs +, writes (3 January 2011):
TheDogYrs is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI forogt to add, because some of you stated it in your answers, Like I said I was honest at first to a couple of people and when I started getting their remarks, I decided not to answer the question by telling them, It's personal or It was none of their business and then they would be like, "Oh since your not answering you must be a virgin" or out of no where they'll just yell out, "She aint no vigrin".. They'll just assume an answer because I wont tell them. Or they'll keep asking me over and over again. One friend of mines asked me if I was a virgin and I told him it was personal and he was like, "Just tell me!" and he became sending me txt msgs asking me and just wouldnt leave me alone. It got to the point where I just couldnt take it and I cut off all connection with him.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 January 2011): Just take your time. Don't give out that information to people who aren't close to you, it's none of their business. You should have sex when you're ready and you want it and when you're mature enough. Who cares what other people are doing, just live for yourself. Find another love and it will happen eventually.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (3 January 2011): Lots of people just treat virgins like weirdos. Your very presence reminds them that they have indulged more than you have and they aren't always comfortable with that. It's not fair but that is the world we live in today. When you talk about losing your virginity, I hate to say what you keep hearing, but wait. You refer to "the only boy I ever loved" in your post. At your age every girl can point to that one heartbreaking boy they "loved" and tell you a long story about their trials and tribulations with him. But ask any girl a few years older, and they look back on those early loves as mild in comparison to how they felt in a more serious relationship a few years later. The early relationships at your age bring intense emotions but don't mistake that for love.
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A
female
reader, :)31215 +, writes (3 January 2011):
My friend (who is 180 has this problem too and it pisses her off loads. Fortunately, she can laugh about it, and she knows she doesnt want to lose her virginity to just someone, but to someone special, who loves her.
All i can say to you though is not to "get rid of it". Once you do tht you can't get it back, so you should do it with someone special, rather than just some random guy you may not see again.
Good luck with standing up to the idiots who take the piss out of you. I Think they seriously need to grow up a bit. It's your choice what you do with your body, not theirs.
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (3 January 2011):
 If that is one of the first question someone asks you then you would be wise to respond with "What possible business is that of yours?" then turn and leave them to wallow in their rudeness. Keep your trap shut in the future, nobody needs to know such personal information. As far as being in a rush to lose your v-card, that's only a one-way street, there's no going back, so act wisely.
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A
female
reader, Jen1689 +, writes (3 January 2011):
 Please don't be tempted just because OTHERS are making snide remarks to you about it. I lost my virginity at age 20 with my now-fiance. But in highschool, I was tormented because everyone called me a "whore". No one actually believed that I was a virgin because one of my best friends in middle school became very sexually promiscuous once she got into highschool. I dated plenty of guys who only wanted me for one thing, and when they didn't get it, they would cheat on me or dump me. You are SO much better off than these people who have lost it to countless partners at age seventeen or eighteen. Just stay true to yourself. Sex isn't as exciting as some people make it out to be. And believe me, if you give your virginity away when you're not ready, you will regret it.
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A
female
reader, mizz.butterflies +, writes (3 January 2011):
 first of all, you will lose your virginity when YOU want to and when YOU feel its right.
now people always get hyped up when they meet a girl who is older than 17 and still a virgin.its something rare nowadays.
i lost mine at 19 and remember that my closest friends would be having tons of sex (sometimes i could hear them in the other room) and of course i was curious but i knew what i wanted for me.
u shouldnt be telling strangers that ur a virgin. only ur closest friends should know this. if they ask u whether ur a virgin or not look them straight in the eye,as if ur dumb or u didnt get their question and add "this is so personal" .if they keep askin u just stare at them.theyll eventually give up.
for the "keep ur legs closed" its cause they made the mistake to lose theirs too early or they regretted it and theyd like u to have a better chance at love/sex life and that means not having sex yet.
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