A
female
age
30-35,
*ilylove1
writes:Why does everyone always make fun of me for my love life? I had one boyfriend in the sixth grade but after him when guys asked me out it was because I just didn't like them. I am eighteen now and all my friends, girl and guy, make fun of me for having no boyfriend, not having my first kiss yet, and being a virgin. I have to admit I do want a boyfriend and a kiss but what's rye big deal about sex? And why does not having it make me a target? All my friends know because the friends itrusted with it blabbed to everyone. Why is it so funny to them??? All my other friends are not virgins and I think there is something completely wrong withthat since they did it with guys they had sex with then dumped!! Well back to the kissing part and stuff to, I just haven't met the right guy tthat I feel comfortable dating yet. Any help??
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female
reader, tennisstar88 +, writes (6 August 2010):
 Unfortunately we live in a world where everybody is getting sexually active younger and younger. Babies having babies, its kinda sad...U dont have to have sex or do anything u want to do just because ur friends are doing it. Plus, ur friends blabbed one of ur big secrets? Get some new friends. Im proud of u for being a virgin, I didnt lose my virginity till i was in college. And I wish it was with someone special not some loser! Those guys dumped ur friends bc they were easy all they wanted was sex. Bottom line, dont do it because ur friends are doing it, ull find that special guy to have sex with so keep on holding out. I dont think those boys in high school are worth ur time. If they keep pestering u about these friends, I would tell them u dont want to be used and thrown to the side like a piece of trash just like they were. And frankly these high school boys arent worth ur time, ur waiting till college where there will be plenty of men to choose from, bc right now there's slim pickings, ur better than sloppy seconds. That will shut them up, bc theyre not going to have a reply. Good Luck!
A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (6 August 2010):
I know what this is. This is jealously on part of the girls, and it's a challenge on part of the men.
The girls, such as your friends, have all been used and they know it. They went out with the bad boys, and it was all fun while it lasted. But when the music stopped, the tears started and they will have all realized that they have been used and have made mistakes. You have been smart, and you've made good decisions. They don't like that because they wish they were you. They wish they had waited. They wish they hadn't been used. And they can't go back and never be virgins again. So, instead, they try to pressure you so you'll be like them. Then there is no more jealousy because you've all been used and you've all made mistakes.
As for the guys? At this age, it's 'sex'. Not from all guys, but from most. After all, if there was more in it, none of your friends would have been used. To the guys, you represent a challenge. You're a girl who has turned them down and not been used. So they want to change that, and the guy that gets you wins.
The answer to this is to continue as you are. Wait. Meet the right guy and take your time. I promise that if you do, you won't have the regrets your friends have. As for them, who cares what they think or say? No one.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 August 2010): Who cares what other people think? It's your life right?
Look you'll just have to get used to this kind of thing, for some weird reason that's alien to me most people take pity or look down on single women. That's just the way it is. For some reason, and it's in all things, women are seen to be incomplete or unfulfilled if they don't have a man.
It's in all tv shows, magazines, movies that are aimed at women. How to get man. Tips on attracting men. There seems to be a lot of pressure on women to be in relationships, so much so that being single as a woman is portrayed as a bad thing. That somehow these women can only really be sad.
That's why as a single woman others will make fun of you, or try and give you advice, or pester you to go out and get yourself in a relationship.
Plus a lot of people, especially at your age, that are in relationships can be quite smug about the whole thing. You know, 'I'm so happy in my relationship, I pity single people' kind of thing. Just ignore it, they all have their imperfections and while they might think they've got it made they're perfect relationships are quite often not as perfect as they think anyway. Just read the front page of this site for proof of that if you like.
Above all your love life is about you, what you want and not about what others think you should be doing. So just enjoy being you, enjoy being free and single. If you meet a guy you like give it a go but only for yourself, forget what anyone else expects you to do or be.
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