A
female
age
36-40,
*ena1
writes:hey guys,can any body tell me why man change after getting married.because i am sick of this life because of my husband.he was nice before marriage and care about me more than after .why this happening to me.sometimes i feel like i want just to leave and go somewhere Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Mrs. Mom +, writes (12 March 2009):
 Sit your husband down and tell him exactly what you told us. Try to explain it from your own point of you without criticizing him. For example, "It bothers me that you don't wash yourself or want to have sex." Then tell him if this can't change, you're going back home. Then take his money, buy a ticket, and get back home, and start over.
Be warned, though, that he may have things he wants you to change, too. If he does, consider making changes, so that both of you are adjusting to make your marriage better.
If he's not willing to work on the marriage, there's nothing in the world you can do to make him do it.
A
female
reader, lena1 +, writes (26 February 2009):
lena1 is verified as being by the original poster of the question thank every one for the answers.
i am not from Indian or Pakistan.i am Moroccan and my husband American.
thanks
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 February 2009): To me it looks like you are either from India or Pak. I faced similar sitaution long back. Before marriage, men are at their best behaviour....they treat you like royalty and women start thinkin this is my dream man.In reality, indian/pak men are actually thinking I should be able to change this woman acc to my personality after we get married. Usually they have seen that their mothers have never answered back in front of their fathers and they expect same from their own wives.But they need to realize that times have changed and women are more educated and aware of the world around them.I think you should try to find a job soon. When you'll be earning, you will have more respect from your husband and his mother and he will actually start listening better. Also, this way you can go out and meet new people, have some friends which will give you time for yourself. If he still don't change, tell your parents abt him. Don't waste your life on this type of a man and please do not get pregnant until you are sure you see your future with him.
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A
male
reader, anoms  +, writes (22 February 2009):
 i know thers an age difference but even older guys act immature, you sound like you need a break, if you can get anyone close to you that understands your situation then take some time out and go stay with this family or friend for a while, you dont have to tell them anything you dont think they'll understand, im sure he'll be eager to listen to your problems when your not around for a little while, gudluk.
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A
female
reader, lena1 +, writes (22 February 2009):
lena1 is verified as being by the original poster of the questioni dont have any friends here and i am too far from family i am in other country now.and i discussed this with him and i even told him that i regret marring him once because he drived me crazy.i feel disappointed because i have never expected my marriage will come down to this situation especially with him.and many times he told me he can do what ever makes me happy ,if buying me tickets to go home will make me happy he will do it.but he never says he can changes himself to make me happy.always say i am the one wrong here.
i feel so lonely .and i dont know what to do at same time.
and i cant talk with my familly about this because it shame to do it.it s not even a year marriage and we have this kind of problem.
he doesn't even clean himself for me.he did not shower for 2months and he did not even ask me for sex for 2 months,and what is getting on my nervous , before marriage he always was complain g to me to open my legs.now when i open them he is careless.
he is 35 years old and i am 22.so at this situation he should be mature and not act like kid.
when i talk like this i am the one kid here because he is perfect never wrong(in his eyes)
i dont really know what to do.i love him but he is pushing me too far.
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A
male
reader, anoms +, writes (22 February 2009):
this is just me but if i were you i would make some friends close by, somone who you can talk to and be around when things get heated, and also give you advice. if you need somone right now then you should get a family member or old friend to come and stay with you for a little while, im sure you feel very alone right now and i guess it doesnt help that his mother is watching you aswell, i hope you can work somthing out because its no use regretting your marriage this early if you cant talk to one another, gudluk.
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A
male
reader, anoms +, writes (22 February 2009):
personally i never understood marriage, i think its pretty unnecessary if you love somone, and i definatly dont believe it strengthens a relasionship for that same reason, i think some people start to feel so secure that they can get away with doing or saying whatever they want after making their wedding vows. i hope you can get help before you go down the divorce root, gudluk.
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A
female
reader, lena1 +, writes (22 February 2009):
lena1 is verified as being by the original poster of the questioni discussed this things with him always his answer is that i am the one changed and i have big mouth .and i am the one complain every time.
what this man he doesn t want me to talk or complain,i am living with his mother so every move she asks me for it.and no sex or affection from him besides we are only 4 months marriage.i left my contry for him.i know no one here.
i dont understand.every time i open my mouth he says i complain.
and he tells me he changed because of my mouth.
he doesnt see his mouth when it start moving what it comes out of it.
i am just scared this marriage just at the beginning and look what is happening.and wondering what will be next.
he is driving me to point i dont even want to look at him,and feel like servant in this house every one of them(him and his mother)ask me to do things for them.
to be honest with you i dont even feel like married women.
no freedom inside the house neither out.
help me plz.i dont really know what to do,i love him but he is pushing me so far,
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (22 February 2009): One of the many things needed to have a good relationship is communication. You need to be able to sit down and DISCUSS your issues with your new husband, no matter what. If there are things that he does that bother you, you need to be able to talk about these things,( not fight or complain). It might not be easy to do at first, but if you can talk to each other, it will make for a great relationship.
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A
female
reader, Mrs. Mom +, writes (22 February 2009):
Women change after marriage, too.
When people are dating and looking for a prospective mate, they're on their best behavior and show their best side. In addition, the excitement of early love and trying to get a partner into bed can make everything seem rosier to both people in the couple.
With marriage, reality sets in. People tend to relax and show their true personalities. After all, this is your home and his home. If he can't relax with you, where can he relax? It's only natural.
Unfortunately, this can be the time when less then ideal behavior emerges. If he does things you don't like, have an honest discussion with him and see if he is willing to change for the sake of your relationship.
The reality may be that life with him isn't what you expected.
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