A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:A friend of mine who knows I'm attracted to him isn't very clear about what he feels for me. Every time we meet, he admits being shy and awkward around me. His friends say he isn't like that around them. He admitted he got so awkward while hugging me when we met recently. We aren't dating because he never admits anything or asks me out. His heavior changes completely when I'm around.I also noticed he made effort to look good when he came to meet me and gets conscious about his looks when I'm there (trying to fix his hair etc ) BUTHe never initiates any conversations , I'm the one texting first and I get one short reply to my 10 msgs!!! I assumed be isn't very expressive expressive but he ignored me a couple of times as well . He lives far off and that's why we don't get to meet Much.What's up with him ? When does a guy get shy and awkward around you? Or I'm over thinking ? I know he isn't seeing anyone and doesn't even go on dates. I assume he is just shy.
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reader, anonymous, writes (13 April 2016): Why bother? Seriously!
If he's awkward and shy and you have to pry attention out the guy, why is it even worth the effort?
There are many reasons why guys get shy and awkward. I'll explain a few and what I speculate to be his problem.
He may be intimidated by your looks. If he feels you're exceptionally attractive, he feels self-conscious or uneasy in your presence. If you're approaching him too aggressively; he may not feel he's your type, or you're not exactly his type. He might be awkward and nerdy, and uncomfortable around women anyway.
I am a little impatient with adults who are too shy and don't make the least amount of effort to overcome it. They want romance, yet expect other people to make all the moves; and when they do, all they get in return is a childish shy reaction. That is annoying beyond words.
If it is attributed to a social disorder; then you're wasting your time anyway. Let those who suffer these disorders be. Allow them to find healing through professional sources. They aren't equipped to handle assertive personalities or people who are too outgoing.
I was shy and I had to just keep trying and trying until I built-up confidence. I'm an adult, and I know only children can get away with being so shy that it's crippling or socially restrictive. Always longing but never pursuing.
Shyness can be cute, alluring, and sexy; but not when it builds frustration in the pursuer. The remedy is to give-up and leave them alone. Until they're mature enough to do something about their loneliness. Which is mostly self-inflicted and very isolating.
The smart ones find a wing-man or wing-lady, who breaks the ice; then they take some personal-initiative to take it the rest of the way. Sometimes that's all it takes. The only problem in relying on others to pave the way is; they might steal your prospects, or the prospect may find their personality more appealing.
My advice, stop wasting your time and being so pushy.
A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (12 April 2016):
 Maybe he doesn't feel the same way as you do therefore he is shy and awkward because he doesn't want to give you the wrong impression. You say he knows that you like him, but he makes no effort, this says to me that he is not interested so you should move on and get over him.
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