A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:So this guy and I met briefly a while ago and before we ever went on a date, we would text and he was always very cheerful, taking part in the conversation but would then sort of stop which is fine, it completely came across as he more busy than not interested. I went on a date with him a few weeks ago, he picked me up after a dinner he had, which was around 9-9:30 and took me me out and then dropped me home. The whole date, he was quite nervous (tapping his foot) and it felt like we had known each other for a long time-I felt chemistry. We talked about everything, from food to family and he asked me about places I've been here (because I'm new to the city) and possible places to go in the future-he didn't say he would take me, but it was almost like an indirect invitation. He asked what I was doing the next day. We left around 12pm, because he had work the next day. He dropped me home and he asked me to text him the next day about what I was doing and before I even got in the door, he texted me saying thanks and that he enjoyed meeting me, I said the same and he said something else. I left it at that and we sort of stopped speaking, because I was hoping he would ask for another date. A few weeks on, nothing. So I texted him about a week ago and offered about catching up, he agreed to do so, even though I was away. He told me to have a safe flight on my way home and that he would come and see me, he then added a kiss emoji. It's been almost a week now, since I've heard from him.We are from completely different cultures and I'm hoping he's not afraid of how to approach the whole situation, or even me. However, as we all know, love is love regardless.
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reader, anonymous, writes (21 June 2015): Maybe he is somewhat nervous and a little awkward about how to approach you. Although he sees no reason not to date you; he may have some reservations about how you will be accepted by his family. He may have a few loose-ends to tie in his personal-life, before considering a serious romance with a woman of a completely different culture. He may also be uncertain of what is appropriate according to your culture. So he's being cautious.
If he is Asian or Middle-Eastern, he will most likely call the shots. He will make his approach when he feels the time is appropriate, and he will set the pace. You sound like an educated and very progressive woman. He may be more traditional. He will not allow you to pressure him; nor will he intentionally lead you on. He will court you respectfully and earnestly. That is, if he is truly romantically-interested.
Go about your normal routine. Don't allow anticipation or eagerness to gnaw at you. If he takes too long to respond, grow more distant. Don't answer his messages or calls quickly. Make him have to wait, as he makes you. Not as a game, but to show him your time is as valuable as his. You are a modern and progressive woman; you expect more courtesy, and prefer a man to be more enthusiastic in showing his interest in you. You may even say so to let him know he shouldn't waste your time, or leave you waiting unnecessarily.
Most of all, make sure that he is not committed to an arranged-marriage. Men of some cultures will actively date even when they are engaged; but the women involved are most unaware of each other. So I hope you have asked if he is romantically- involved with anyone, or recently broke-up, and not just assuming he isn't. If there is a woman in his recent past, or present, that may explain everything.
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