A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:What are these girls problems? Am I overreacting?So I've liked this really sweet and cute guy for a while now.We talk abit and hang out sometimes but we are both so quiet and shy around eachother.Anyway, 2 of his girly friends have staring at me and one of them went and got the same hairstyle as me. I tried to make small talk with one of them and the convo was one sided. and I thought i have broken the ice but when they see me they just stare and don't even say hello.I told my crush and he said if they don't value me i shouldn't speak to them. and ignore them back.I thought that was sweet of him to say that.I told my best friend and she said he's dodgy and is like he knows they watch me and talk about me.I feel like she hates my crush. She's always calling him names and say he's a fucking boring grandad who can't even tell me how he feels.Seriously what are these girls problems?
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female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (13 May 2013):
 Ok, so the first two girls we got them pegged :), they have a weakness for the dude too and they feel they are in competition with you for his attention and preference.
But your friend.... my normally suspicious mind does not get activated this time, and does not see a hidden agenda under your friend's comments. Maybe, she just does not like the guy and, since you girls are so close, she does not stand on ceremony as for expressing her disapproval. Yes, it may be she is a tiny bit jealous and afraid of losing you as a friend and coming far second after your crush. But, just because you see a guy as nice and sweet it does not mean that every woman has to see him like you.
Your friend thinks he is a boring grandad, so, I don't know about the boring, but if he is twice your age or so, she may have a problem with that and thinks he should stick to people his age. As for not telling you his feelings, she may ( or may not, OK ) have a point insofar you talk a bit, hang out a bit, it's a while... and nothing happens. I think maybe your friend has a problem with that too, seeing that he's got his groupies who look daggers at ayou- maybe he's one of those guys who bask in being the object of female attention and having women compete for them- just becaise of ego. A good friend would not want to see you stuck in something like that, and , not unreasonably, she thinks that a grown up man, if he REALLY wants something from a woman, TELLS her , does not do the teen silent crush thing.
A
female
reader, FoxyBodhisattva  +, writes (13 May 2013):
Even best friends can feel threatened by the possible beginning of a relationship for you. Your new love interest means that you won't be able to give her the same amount of attention that you've been giving her thus far, and since you'll be spending more time with him you'll be spending less time with her. This doesn't mean she is a bad friend, it just means that she loves you in a friendly way and feels like she will lose you to your new beau. Shell get over it if she wants you to be happy.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 May 2013): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionOkay thank you. Is quite obvious they like him. But I don't understand why my friend she calls me her best friend is so negative about him. She's always so negative about him. I think he's really sweet and cute and she just thinks he's a boring b^s^^d that can't tell me how he feels.. She's so harsh on him.
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A
female
reader, FoxyBodhisattva +, writes (13 May 2013):
These girls certainly sound a bit dodgy, sounds to me like this fellow has got groupies. They- or at least one of them - probably have a crush on him as well. They see you as a threat and want to alienate you and talk trash about him to you to drive you away. Some may say that imitation is the best form of flattery, but in this case it could be dangerous. Watch your back around those girls. They are problems because at least one of them is cracked. Obviously, she/they cannot be better than you by themselves, so they feel the need to imitate you to minimize the threat that you pose. If their attempts to drive you away fail, don't be surprised if they act out violently towards you.All that being said, is this guy really worth all of that drama? Work out your pros and cons before perusing this one. Are these girls good friends of his, or do they just hang around him like flies around a crapper? If they are significant enough to his life they may continue to cause you drama even after you get the guy. These jealous little hoes might even try to kill you! Good luck and be mindful of these girls' behavior. If their imitation of you goes any further then they may be desperate and on the verge of violence. Back off if it escalates, but let him know why you are backing off if you need to.
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