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age
36-40,
anonymous
writes: I work for a pretty big company and there's one woman there who, in my opinion, really rude. I had the misfortune of seeing her today and it got me thinking: why are some people so tactless?I will give you an example: The subject came up of that group of idiots on the news who decided to burn those poppies on remembrance day. I said i thought it was disgusting what they did and that i had a friend who was going to afgahnsitan next year so it was a personal thing to me. She looked at me with a smirk on her face and said "oh really? he probably won't come back it's really dangerous over there" i was pretty taken a back and actually felt really upset.She's said a number of other hurtfull things in the past but today she really sunk to a new low. Since she said that comment it's stayed with me and now i'm really worried about my friend going.So my question is: Why do some people never think before they open their mouth? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, mystiquek  +, writes (15 November 2010):
 I'm sorry, its very difficult having to work with such a negative person. I've been in that situation. I guess the best you can do is to have as little as contact with her as possible, and if you do have to talk to her, just make it very short and businesslike. If its any help to you at all, perhaps feel sorry for her. She must be a very unhappy person to be so negative and nasty. I used to console myself when I ran into a person like that by thinking "wow..I'm glad that person is not my boyfriend/husband/significant other." Think how it would feel going home to someone like her every night, right? When a person is that mean or negative, they have some serious issues. Good luck, who knows, maybe she'll transfer or retire?? You can hope, right?
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reader, anonymous, writes (14 November 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionShe's quite a lot older than me and just seems a pretty bitter person in general. I worry about things a lot anyway so her saying that upset me a lot. I find it hard to avoid her because we work in the same building. I've tried to make conversation with her before but she's just very negative.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 November 2010): She made a very unkind remark. You can just ignore her. Or flee when you see her heading your way. But chances are. She wont understand why you are avoiding her. She probably has the hide of a rhinoceros and doesnt understand that some of her remarks are hurtful. Next time she says something unpleasant, tell her you find some of her remarks offensive. And ask her to think before she speaks. If she can dish out the straight talk, she should be prepared to get it back from time to time x
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female
reader, mystiquek +, writes (12 November 2010):
Its called "open mouth, insert foot". Many people really just don't think first, they just blurt out what they are thinking, later realizing that they made a mistake. Some people are just very direct, and blunt. They just state the obvious. And then some people are just plain mean...maybe they are jealous, unhappy in their life, just mean by nature. Its very difficult to deal with these kind of people, most of the time the best thing to do is not say anything, just look at them blankly like "are you for real?"...and then there's an awkward silence. My mother was one of these very direct people, and it was very hard growing up with her around. I learned to have compassion and to "don't say anything if you can't say something nice" very early in life. I'm very sensitive to others feeings.
Do not let her negativity get you down. I'd try to have as little contact as possible with her though. Why be around someone who doesn't know how to be thoughtful or nice?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 November 2010): We all say things without thinking from time to time, but this sounds especially insensitive. We can't know why she said such thing - sometimes people are wanting some kind of reaction. Or maybe she is jealous of you for some reason and wants to hurt you.
The important thing is that your friend is doing a brave and commendable thing and the chances are will come back ok. Hang on to that thought and don't let small minded, ignorant people upset you.
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