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anonymous
writes: I have 3 drug addict children. They are doing it since 14. They are in their twenties right now. Me and my husband tried everything, and nothing helped. Ourselves, we never did anything, what could cause such a bad outcome? We never been showing any bad example, or abuse them. They have had a good childhood. Yet, today their situation is hopeless. They can die! It is such a trauma, and so hard to explain why.. Our life is hell, and we can never be happy again! Yet, there are people around us, from close family and friends who have totally no compassion for this situation and they would even try to blame,or hurt us. Because there was no answer to this tragedy in any ways, they found their own explanations. My mother is the worst, but really I feel generally people have no compassion for things what they can't understand so it's not enough, I have to deal with the trauma but I'm criticized by the closest people in my life. You know, if people cant find an explanation they will make one up. It hurts me tremendously the lack of compassion. My husband does not need it. But I do! It isolates me from people, I don't feel like sharing anymore.. I do get counseling, but it is not the same... My question is, why people never want to see others pain? Why is it so hard to find people who can really understand? Reply to this Question
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reader, LazyGuy  +, writes (5 January 2010):
 Why is it so hard for you to understand that people will not feel to much sympathy for parents who raised three drug addicts and failed 100% as parents?
If you want sympathy from someone, first put yourself in their shoes. Before you kids turned into addicts, how did you few people with this problem?
I can't say what caused the addiction in ALL of your kids, but it stands to reason that your parenting plays a major role. 1 kid could be explained by the wrong friends, 2 kids by the wrong environment but the only thing all 3 kids have in common is your parenting.
And sometimes that happens, but society has been loosing its sympathy for drug addicts, it is more and more considered that addiction is your own stupid fault and that the people who abuse drugs are a drain on society. It can be a lot worse, in China you would have had three bills for a bullet. In the west we still take care of addicts, but people hate paying taxes.
It ain't all the easy to have sympathy for someone else. Some drug addicts steal to feed their habit. Do your kids? Do you then feel sympathy for your childrens victims? Pay to have their goods replaced? Pay extra taxes for the increased cost to society? Then aren't you asking for sympathy for the pain your kids addiction costs you, but not giving sympathy for the costs that it is giving everyone else?
What exactly makes you think that everyone owes you sympathy? Are you really asking: "I raised 3 kids who turns into drug addicts, don't judge me"?
The world just doesn't work like that. Just see what you yourself feel sympathy for.
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