A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Does anyone know why some men have relationships when they are younger, but only feel like being single or having flings, etc, when they are older ?.Is it because they have been on their own for a long time, and they get set in their ways ?. I've known a few men like that and i was just curious about it. Reply to this Question
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male
reader, doublejack  +, writes (22 December 2011):
The anonymous guy who said "It`s that the older a guy gets the more he`s experienced and has seen. He will be far better at spotting insincerity and less easily blinded." is 100% correct!When I was younger, I would get into relationships even if I was not completely comfortable with a girl. For example, I might have a nagging feeling that a woman was capable of cheating because of how flirty she was, but if she was attractive and seemed into me I would have boldly forged ahead. Ergo I married a woman that I suspected was capable of cheating on me, and years later I confirmed she in fact was... so that marriage ended. These days? Not gonna happen! I feel I can "see" right through a woman like that.It isn't that I have trust issues, I am just really, really good now at sensing when a girl is being insincere with me. I don't buy a woman's words. I analyze her actions and body language, and I can tell how into me she really is, or isn't as the case may be. If my instincts tell me that I'm just an option, then I hit the eject button and move on to the next girl. It isn't that I'm just after a fling or something casual, as the fact is I'd like to be in something serious, but I'm not going to put my heart at risk again.The result is that I don't feel compelled to be in a relationship just for the sake of being in one, so I've been single for 2+ years. In that time I've dated a fair number of women, sometimes over the course of several months, but nothing was strong from a mutual standpoint. So my search goes on...
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (22 December 2011): People are not designed to be on their own. A man who reaches his 40`s would rather be on his own than marry a woman with a history of cheating, or who is only making do with him as she thinks she`ll be left on the shelf otherwise. The only other thing is if he`s been stung for thousands off his cheating ex wife. The majority of men do not want to be on their own, but the older they get, the better they become at seeing potential disaster.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (22 December 2011): I guarantee you have got it the wrong way round. It`s that the older a guy gets the more he`s experienced and has seen. He will be far better at spotting insincerity and less easily blinded. His fast departure may make it seem like he`s just had a fling, but he`s seen what is beneath the surface.
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (22 December 2011):
 It happens, primarily, because we finally figure out what you girls are all about..... and figure out that we DON'T have to give away 1/2 our "stuff" just to get a little s*x.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (22 December 2011):
I am a 38 year old man and I think "worldlywise" hit the nail on the head. By my age most men have already had a long-term relationship (or several). If they worked out then great. You won't meet those men, because they are happy with their wives/partners. However, the rest of the men out there are looking for something. It may be a relationship, but probably not - at least not for some time. If you just got out of a relationship do you really want to go back to that already? Eventually, though, they will find a woman and want to settle down again.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (22 December 2011): men are not necessarily like that. it can appear so when a woman tries to change him and tries to takes his soul away. men are better than you think at recognizing the difference between a good and bad woman if they have had experience. they will not turn away a good woman.
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A
female
reader, In.love.with.him +, writes (22 December 2011):
 I think people of all ages have flings except more and more of the youth is sleeping around. Seeing as I am in my 20's I see it all the time people only go to the clubs usually for 1 or 2 things to find someone to take home and to drink.
Some older men who had their hearts broken from a long term relationship maybe feel as though they lost the one girl they loved and make it seem like that person was the only one. But in actuality that person wasn't the one. But they did love each other. They give up or they slept around from the beginning and cheated throughout their relationships.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 December 2011): Maybe they marry young, have the children,years of responsibility then think - I have let life pass me by, I need to be out there to see what I have missed...Mid life crisis, buy a motorbike, make half joking comments to younger women..buy new 'trendy' clothes...
They've tried the domestic bliss bit so want to be free,maybe their wives cheated or were just too demanding
Just my view
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (22 December 2011): Reading your question, it sounds just like me. I have been single a very long time (20 years) and of course am pretty set in my ways now. I had a couple of relationships when I was in my 20's , but since then have enjoyed the freedom associated with being single. I think as time goes on it will be increasingly more difficult to enter into a long term relationship, although not impossible. It will just mean a huge change in my lifestyle which I am unsure I would be prepared to go with. I have not made any effort over the last 20 years to 'Meet women', so have not really 'made the most of being single' in that respect. Instead, I've been living under the policy that if someone 'comes along' then that was meant to be, so to speak. A dangerous road to take, as I may end up being in my 60's and alone, but Im not too concerned about that too much yet. (I'm 47)
All the best :)
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 December 2011): maybe they got burned by their relationships when they were younger and so the lesson they learned is that relationships aren't worth it.
Women can certainly feel that way too if they had bad relationships but society puts more pressure on women to be married and have a family. society expects women to be married and have kids, but is more lenient toward men who choose to remain bachelors their entire lives.
Thus whereas women who have been burned early by bad relationships may simply grow desperate with age and lower their standards more and more to finally get married and have a family, men simply decide it's not worth it anymore and find peace being single.
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