A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Why do some extra marital affairs last for only a short time, for example, a couple of months or weeks or just a one night stand? As opposed to affairs which last for years and are still going strong?What is the difference?Just curious why some seem to keep going while others end much quicker?Opinions? Insight?
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affair, last longer, one night stand Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 May 2015): OP here.
Yes, janniepeg, you are absolutely right.
A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (10 May 2015):
 I know it, the answer you want is that the men who have emotionally invested in the other women are the ones who would last longer.
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A
male
reader, Garbo +, writes (9 May 2015):
 I know 3 men who are/were cheaters. One is a serial cheater who hasn't met a woman with whom he does not want to sleep with, but it's all done after that and he does not want her. Another stops cheating because the mistress is ugly but would tangle up again claiming as a man, he needs to fuck before his penis stops rising. And the third hooked up with his ex GF and are FWB type and says that his wife is too stupid and only good to stay home and have kids with.
So there you have 3 male reasons I as a guy have herd.
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A
female
reader, like I see it +, writes (9 May 2015):
 Some affair partners likely realize fairly quickly that they are in a dead-end relationship with someone who is already taken and can't actually give them ALL the benefits that typically go with a relationship or a marriage, only bits and pieces in between life with the primary partner. For example, I imagine it would get old spending every holiday alone and knowing that the person who would normally be your emergency contact can only help with your troubles if the person they're married is busy doing something else. Evidently some people don't need much time to reach this conclusion.
Others apparently have to waste a few months (years, decades) before they too realize that by staying in an affair they're investing emotionally in a black hole. I have yet to see anyone state in a post here that being someone's extramarital lover was a good use of his or her time - once the affair ends, the recurring theme seems to be regret for those months or years of wasted life spent being in half a relationship, not regret over losing the cheater.
Discovery of the affair by the angry cheated-on husband or wife seems typically to end things as well, as most married cheaters have zero intention of leaving the person they married for the side piece and, when push comes to shove, will try to repair the marriage rather than face financial ruin or shame from friends and family.
And finally, some affair partners get cheated on themselves when the person who initially sought them out as an exciting change from his/her spouse gets bored with them too.
It all depends on the situation, I guess.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (9 May 2015):
 No idea.
I have never cheated, never will.
My guess is some grow a backbone and end it sooner rather than later. Others feel justified in cheating and thus continue for longer.
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