A
male
age
,
*yonsdown
writes:My gf moved in with me 2 years ago.She didn't like the way my house was decorated and insisted I get it re-decorated.I own the house.I certainly couldn't afford the whole cost, and my gf earns pretty well.We agreed to split the cost, at £5000 each.2 years later and she wants to split up.She's asking me to pay her the £5000 of her share back.I don't think I should have to - she knew the risk when she paid half the costs, and I've never mentioned marriage to her at any point.Should I pay her this amount, nothing at all, or else?
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female
reader, YouWish  +, writes (9 May 2015):
 Male anon, that doesn't have anything to do with redecorating a house. That has to do with building on rooms or building a lake or repaving a driveway or building a gate or landscaping or putting in a complete state-of-the-art septic system or an underground sprinkler system/irrigation or putting up a pole barn or hobby farm.
Also, a lease agreement in writing has to exist for that to be the case, with express permission in writing from the owner has to be documented.
Redecorating with carpets and furniture ($5,000 pounds) isn't that much, and it's apples to oranges.
Best to talk to a lawyer.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 May 2015): Hmmm...I was in a slightly similar situation when I briefly lived with my now ex partner and he helped me to do some physical works to improve my home and contributed a small amount of money to the costs - we then split and I was concerned as he became nasty.
I seem to remember reading that, if a person lives with you (whether as a partner or tenant) and does not own the property with you AND they are not paying any rent but they DO contribute to carrying out updating and decorating that increases the value of your home, then, IF (and only if) you sell the property and they can prove that their contribution helped to make a difference in the sale value/price THEN they are entitled to their own original contribution back PLUS whatever percentage rate they increased your house value by is then added onto their original contribution.
Say, for example, you had a house worth 100K and the person contributed 5K plus time and energy and skill in updating, raising the value of the property by 15% to 115K when it sold. The person would NOT be entitled to the 15K difference between before and after updating BUT they would be entitled to their own money back (5K) + 15% of the 5K they contributed (£750).
BUT they would have to prove that what they did actually caused the property to increase in value for re-sale - unless they got it valued beforehand it would be difficult to prove it was worth less when they started. And I am pretty sure this does not apply unless you actually sell the property and make a profit from it. Also, they cannot force a sale to take place. So, unless you sell, you would owe her nothing.
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A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (9 May 2015):
I agree with the rest of the aunts on all of the moral grounds, but given my background, I have some other things to say about this as well on a legal standpoint...
When she was living with you, how were the tenancy arrangements? She lived with you for two years you said. Was she paying you rent, utilities, property tax built into rent, etc?? Did she sign a tenancy/lease agreement?? Did you split ALL costs like she wanted to split the redecoration?
If it's a landlord/tenant issue, and the tenant wants to make improvements on the living space, whether it's a house or apartment, they have to first get permission from the landlord AND they have to leave the improvements upon moveout. Your girlfriend made improvements to the property for her benefit and got your permission. You shouldn't have agreed to pay anything, but if her tenancy is over, so are all agreements.
Not only that, but if she was NOT paying rent or an agreed upon amount to make it a tenancy, then what is she squawking about anyways? She got the use of your house to live in, which has a monetary value attached to it, as she didn't have to pay for her own place while living with you.
Is this the same girlfriend you wanted to disinherit your son and leave a ton of money to?? If you did that, you need to talk to your lawyer and get that changed. Plus -- I told you so. You didn't marry her, and your thinking was shortsighted, just like your agreement to redecorate your house on her orders was shortsighted.
I wouldn't pay the portion. In fact, if I were you, I'd get some advice on your money decisions because you are striking out when it comes to them.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 May 2015): I'd say a lot would depend on whether she contributed to the living cost of the house - you say you own the house - is there a mortgage? If she had her own place she would have paid rent/mortgage and bills for 2 years wouldn't she? If she did not contribute I would factor that into your decision but definitely get legal advice as peace of mind. Otherwise, as you were not originally going to spend £5-£10k to update your house, if you pay her £5k back you have effectively paid her £2.5k a year to live with you!!
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A
male
reader, olderthandirt  +, writes (9 May 2015):
 If you both agreed to split the costs. That means she agreed to spend that money on the changes you both made. Assuming there were no strings attached; It's kind of like saying "lets go in halves on Perso's birthday gift so we can say it's from both of us, then saying oh wait person A doesn't like the gift I want my half back. It's water over the dam. What's wasted is wasted. Should have had any contingenccies in writing.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (9 May 2015):
 Personally? no. She didn't GIVE you a loan. SHE made DEMANDS that you update things FOR her to live there. And now that she no longer lives there, she wants the money back, HOW convenient for her!
Now these updates MIGHT have improves on the market value of your house, it was (for you at least) an investment (for her too, WHILE she was in a relationship with you).
If you feel GENEROUS I'd go with Abella's 1250. I would NOT under ANY circumstances give her 5000.
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A
female
reader, like I see it +, writes (9 May 2015):
 Your unwillingness to pay her back is totally understandable given that you had already decorated the place to YOUR taste and she demanded the updates.
5000 pounds is no trifling sum, so in your shoes I'd talk to an attorney and see if she has any legal standing in demanding this from you. (My guess is no, since you are not married and it doesn't sound as if she paid rent in exchange for living there, but consult a professional.)
If she doesn't have a legal right to compensation, don't pay her a dime. YOU lost money in throwing out your original, perfectly serviceable decor, and you're not asking for a refund of that... although it would be an interesting counterclaim in the event she tries to get the money from you via the court system! Maybe even figure out what that cost you in terms of money wasted, and mention that number back to her. Even if you didn't pay out of pocket to decorate your house, you paid indirectly for the paint and the features and whatever else may have been changed when you bought the home (you'd have paid less for a home with a poorly maintained interior.) Figure out the value that the features you tore out or changed likely added to the purchase price, if that makes sense. That is the amount of money that you essentially pissed away to accommodate her "needs" on this.
Good luck and best wishes moving forward from what sounds like a very toxic, spoiled person!
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (9 May 2015):
 I wouldn't give her a farthing!!!! SHE asked for - and financed - the decoration changes.... AND, if she wishes to part ways with you.... this (the decoration changes) is something that she must leave in her past.....
Good luck...
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A
female
reader, Abella +, writes (9 May 2015):
 You were living peacefully in your home, with no thought being given to changing how you had set up your home to suit your taste.
Then along comes Ms New G/f and she chose to move in on one proviso. She did not like your décor. and she has expensive taste.
You could not afford to do what Ms New G/f wanted and that is where the situation would have stayed, except a space decorated to her taste was something she insisted that she needed.
So a compromise was worked out. Am I correct that a 50:50 deal was brokered?
She paid half and you paid half?
That is some very fancy decorating she required in order to live with you.
However she had had the use of that updated decorating for two years. Then there is wear and tear. Her use of the updated decorated area has been affected by her use, her feet traipsing over the floors etc. So there is some discount there.
Thus depreciation should also be considered. If you buy a roll of carpet, have it cut and laid to fit the space, then walk over it for two years it has depreciated in value. It is no longer worth what you paid for it.
Yes you own the home but you had no intention of spending five or ten thousand pounds on your home.
But you wanted to keep her happy so you found a spare 5000 pounds and let the décor be updated, to her taste.
Decorating is not like adding on two bedrooms or putting in a loft conversion. Those things are structural and add a lot of value to the property,
If her taste is way different to your taste you may even be faced now with the cost of returning the shiny red walls and red and yellow carpet she wanted (just a bit of liberty with her possible colour scheme :)
back to the cream walls and the grey carpet you had before. And being a really nice guy, I bet you are not even contemplating asking her to put some funds towards that.
If you are feeling generous, very generous, then I might suggest a portion of 2500 pounds only.
But if you now also feel the pressing need to redecorate to get rid of those things that remind you of her then I suspect you can offer either nothing, or a proportion of l250 pounds.
I gather that Ms Soon to-be ex-girlfriend is very used to always getting her own way?
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